Sunday, June 29, 2008

New York, New Yuck

By: Harvey

Watching the NBA Draft the Thursday evening, I got a solid reminder of why I dislike all New York sports franchises and the loudmouth, asshole fans that come along with them.

The New York Knicks, the recently Isiah-less laughingstock of organized basketball on any level, took Italian star Danilo Gallinari with the No. 6 overall pick...which was met by a long, loud chorus of boos by the Knickerbocker fandom which showed up to collectively make a horse's ass of itself at Madison Square Garden.

"It's a part of the game," Gallinari, a 6-foot-8, 210-pound forward who averaged 17.5 ppg last year in the Italian pro league said. "All of the players have got to hear this. Not all of the time you can hear good things."

Quite an optimistic outlook for a guy who has landed in pro sports hell to try and begin his NBA career.

Let's face it. If you succeed in NYC, you become a folk hero and are worshipped forever and ever. The problem is this...their definition of success in that city is so demanding and out of whack most mere mortals simply do not have the ability to live up to it. Their expectations are so unrealistic, they are constantly miserable and dissatisfied with what their teams are doing.

These people probably showed up to MSG to boo regardless of who the Knicks selected, because that's how New York sports fans are. They are pricks. If Jesus Christ was entered in this year's draft and somehow managed to slip to sixth (I heard he needs to work on his left hand and on-ball D a little), these jerkoffs would probably boo. They have no idea they are booing a very strong player...they just know they've never heard of him before so he must not be any good.

Well, part of me hopes he is good, just to make the jagbags who ruined his big night at MSG look like the NYC sewer rats they are. Of course, it would be okay for me if he sucked, too...because it would probably mean the Knicks still suck as well.

I guess for me it's a win-win situation. For poor Danilo (and pretty much every other New York athlete) it is probably a lose-lose type of deal. Cheers.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Recap 6-26

By: Guido

I chose this picture because it sums up the past few days. Random. By the way, if you ever see this kid, ask him what Jackoff Jimmy has been up to.

AS if there was ever any doubt, the Bulls took Derrick Rose with the first pick and the Heat took Michael Beasley. Miami tried to trade down and get players that they actually need but in the end they made the best decision. Beasley is probably the best player in the draft. So look for the Bulls to move Kirk Hinrich which will result in white kids across Iowa and Illinois to look elsewhere for a geeky b-ball idol.

Houston pitcher Shawn Chacon "choked slammed" the Astros GM when he found out he had been demoted to the bullpen. Oops, make that ex-Astros pitcher. Chacon is currently unemployed. It's a race between Dana White and Vince McMahon to place the first phone call.

The other night I happened to flip the tv to Spike, as UFC was soon to be on. I had to watch the final minutes of TNA Nonstop action. What I saw blew me away, actually not so much. Former UFC welterweight contender Frank Trigg did a run in with Kurt Angle. What a waste of talent. Yeah, he got his ass beat by GSP and Matt Hughes(twice, both by rear naked choke), but if he had devoted a little more time to MMA...he wouldn't be doing professional wrestling.

Congrats to the Baltimore Orioles. They became the second team to win a series at Wrigley Field this year. This is what happens when your ace, Zambrano, is hurt and you have to rely on pitchers like Jason Marquis to win games and and keep and era under 3. The other team the win at Wrigley was the Brew Crew and that was the opening series.

Larry Bird and the Indy Pacers traded Jermaine O'Neal to Toronto for T.J. Ford and some foreign guy. Yeah I know, who cares, right?

In NHL news...well, they still have a league, or maybe no? They do? Well, good for them. Why not? They have a professional soccer league. Might as well keep hockey around. I'll watch when Emilio Estevez coaches. Maybe if some hockey players had off the ice issues with, say, killing their ex-wives, dui's and drug abuse...It works for the NFL and NBA.

In other news, you won't be hearing from me for a few days as I will be on holiday untill Sunday evening.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

All-Star, Schmall-Star

By: Harvey

I hate the All-Star Game.

You see, the problem with the MLB All-Star Game is the fans get to vote on it. Most of them don't know shit. They vote with their hearts and not with their brains. They vote for power hitters instead of guys who draw walks, hit behind runners and play good defense. They vote for their favorite players, not the ones who truly deserve to be there. Some people simply vote only for players on their favorite team. Jerks.

I know, I know. It's an exhibition. In the end, it's about the fans seeing the players they want to see. Well, screw them. That's why I hate it. The average fan cannot appreciate a truly good baseball game.

Me, I want to see two teams stocked with the very best players go head-to-head. I want to see a great game...the very best baseball has to offer. When we let the fans vote on the starters and then mandate that every team be represented, it starts to become a farce.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Just A Thought

By: Guido

Since Cedric Benson has to install an ignition-lock breath tester in his car, is it safe to say that the Bears will install one on Olin Kruetz's ass if Kyle Orton is the starting QB?

If a professional hockey team hires a new coach, will anyone care? That's one of those questions that answers itself.

Since the Cubs home win streak ended at 14, does that make 14 the new 13? Friday the 14th? Unlucky number 14?

Yahoo!sports said that "Maria Sharapova's outfit turned heads in her
first-round win." Well, do you suppose that heads were turning to watch the ball go back and forth? Who sits at a baseball game and says "Hey, I think Price Fielder is wearing tighter pants these days"?

Maple bats are dangerous in baseball. The syrup makes them stick to your hands. Weak.

How is winning a ballgame 19-10 a rout? You gave up 10 runs. YOU should have gotten your ass kicked. 19-0, now that's a rout.

Just a thought. Pray for me Pacman.

Truth Hurts

By: Guido

Do we really have to jump all over Don Imus. The man spoke the truth. Though, Imus did say that Pacman Jones should not have been arrested as many times as he had. And that's a load of shit. He should have been arrested. Imus also said that "everybody does something once." This is true as well but, people do things more than once. What I'm saying is, if you get arrested, you deserved it.

Turn on the television. Put it on ESPNews or CNN or whatever. Now, wait for a story about a white athlete shooting at some guys at a club or getting a DUI. You won't see it. White athletes get intro for two things. 'Roid rage and not paying child support(one child, by the way).

It doesn't look good for African Americans when they are represented by touble making athletes. It's not that these athletes are representing the whole race but at the same time, they are. You're not going to hear about the good things a person does on a regular basis. That's what's expected. To be a good citizen and not cause a ruckus.

Maybe we all need to lower or standards and just have segregation for professional sports. That way it will seem normal for the black athletes to cause trouble and for the white athletes to be great heroes that eat their veggies and pop their vitamins(aka steroids).

If getting arrested six times still doesn't help the cause with Pacman Jones, or in that case, any black athlete getting caught breaking the law, then maybe its time to get the hose out. These athletes are making an entire race of people seem like uneducated heathens and another race look like racist bigots.

Pray for me Pacman. Pray for me.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Oh Cripes

By: Guido

Do I really have to like this Edmonds guy? Because I don't want to like him. Can I just acknowledge him and be done with it? Or do I have to embrace him. Embrace Jim Edmonds. Embrace him as a decent left-handed bat. As a Chicago Cub.

It's going to take some time but maybe. Maybe I can do it. He was always such a hot dog bastard in St. Louis. But now...he plays for my team. I will say this. I don't WANT to like the guy. Still, I have to respect him. Plus, the Cubs basically got him for nothing. He sure beats the hell out of Felix Pie. Or Brant Brown. Or Corey Patterson. Or Randall Simon. Or Rickey Gutierrez. Or Glenallen Hill.

All that matters are these two words(x2) Cubs win! Cubs win! Which, by the way, they did.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Oh, Please

By: Guido

The greatest turnaround EVER? Seriously? I'm not buyin' it, Boston.

Look, if the Celtics had won this championship with the same team that they had last season, then yeah, I'd be pretty damn impressed. But no. They went and got two of the best players in the game in Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. The Celtics were the favorites to win it all as soon as they aquired those two. How could they not?

Had they played like shit and missed the playoffs, then that would be dramatic. But they did exactly what teams do when they go out and get great players that play well together. They win.

Even with the ego problems that the Lakers had with Kobe and Shaq (then later with Malone and The Glove added) they still won. They still did what was expected of them. The Yankees go out and buy the best players in the game. No matter how many times the analysts say that George Stienbrenner made a bad move, the Yankees still make the playoffs. How can they not? They have some of the best players.

The Detroit Tigers have some of the best players that money can buy in baseball. They didn't start the season too well. At one point they were in last place and winless in their division. They are winning ballgames now. I guarantee they make the playoffs.

I know. I know. You can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass.'s your ass. Whatever.

Did anybody bet against the Celtics? Nobody outside of LA could have. Think of it this way. The Boston Celtics are a cereal bowl. Paul Pierce is a spoon. That's all you have. So what now? What can you do with just a bowl and a spoon? You can pretend but other than that you can't do shit. Ok, so say Ray Allen is milk. Add that to your bowl. Not bad, eh? Now your getting some where. Now say Kevin Garnett is a delicious cereal, say, Lucky Charms. Well pour that shit on there ya chowdahead.

So now you have a bowl filled with milk and Lucky Charms, not to mention a spoon to eat it with. Oh wait, there is a prize in the box! What can it be? Well it's exaclty what is on the box. A pot of gold, also know as an NBA Championship. Well la-di-freakin'-da. Who would have thought?

First Blood Drawn In Second City

By: Guido

Aramis Ramirez done did it again. He has proven again and again that he is the most clutch hitter on the Cubs roster. A-Ram's solo walk-off won it for the Cubs as the took game one tonite. It's the 23rd come back victory for the Cubs this season and the 7th straight road loss for the Chi-sox. However, John Danks pitched a great game as opposed to Ted "Tantrum" Lilly.

It may be too soon to call this weekends White Sox/Cubs series a potential World Series preview(wait til next weekend). Anything can and will happen. The Cubs just got swept in their previous potential World Series matchup against the hot Tampa Bay Rays. The Cubs are still missing a few pieces, in my humble opinion. It's never good when the alternative to Jason Marquis is Jon Lieber.

As for the Sox; the Tigers are starting to roll (get back on the bandwagon) and the Indians still have some time left to make a run if they make some decent trades. Besides, it's just a matter of time before Ozzie makes a racial slur directed at Mike Downey or Paul Sullivan.

So let's give it some time.

The Recap 6-20

By: Guido

Curt Schilling, the greatest blowhard of all-time, may have thrown his last pitch(last year).
"My season is over and there is a pretty decent chance I have thrown my last pitch forever,” said Curt.
The shoulder problems have been bothering the blowhard since spring training.

The Cubs and Cards fell victims to the broom. At least getting swept by the Rays actually means something these days. Can't really say the same for K.C.

Jim Riggleman has replaced John McLaren as the manager of the Seattle Mariners. McLaren was fired yesterday and soon most of his former players will be suiting up for other teams. As for Riggleman, he used to managed the Cubs back in the 90's. Nuff said.

Former king of holds Kiko Calero was designated for assignment. If you have him in fantasy you should probably drop him now. Who am I kidding. Kiko will probably end up in Tampa and and finish with an astonishing 50 holds and a World Series ring.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Fighter Out Of TUF Finale

By: Guido

What happens in Vegas gets you kicked out of the UFC. Or, I think that's how it goes.

Jesse Taylor earned his way to the Ultimate Fighter finale by beating down each opponent he face. So pumped was he, that Jesse stayed a couple extra days in Vegas to celebrate. He drank, kicked out limo windows, yelled that he was in the UFC, and harassed women at the casino bars. He had a great time. He didn't kill anyone. He didn't steal money from a casino. He didn't re-edit Star Wars IV-VI. He did what alot of young men do in Vegas. He drank. Besides, what woman at a casino bar isn't asking to be hit on. Most of them are there looking for a high roller anyways. Jesse just wanted to impress the chicks and skanks and possibly get some tail. Isn't that what Vegas is all about? Should Jesse have emptied his wallet at the slot machine first? The would it be ok? Let the house make some money first then look for girls? Is that the correct answer?

All this commotion was caught on security cameras at whatever casino/hotel Jesse was staying at. Once the owners caught wind of who the young man was, they immediately had the tape played for UFC President Dana White. Dana White, President of Las Vegas and soon, the world. I can understand Dana wanting the UFC to have respectable and responsible young men within the organization. I don't see how this is worse than Travis Lutter not making weight for a title match. How is it worse than hiring back fighters who have tested positive for steroids of all sorts? Talk about hurting your image, Dana White can't go ten seconds without saying "Fuck." (This is the equivalent of Pokey Reese going a month without fathering a child. It just ain't happening.)

"You fucking blew it."
"Fucking badass fight."

Dana, we're all adults here. We make mistakes. Jesse kicked out a window. Jesse harassed some cougers at the bar. Jesse screamed that he was in the UFC. Technically, he was in the UFC. He wore the UFC label and you made money off TUF season 7. I know you want to be strict and set a good example. You don't want your fighters running around like a bunch of NFL-ers or NBA-ers, but this is a minor offense.

You made the wrong move Dana. The wrong fuckin' move.

Just trying to do my part

By: Harvey

I don't really have much to get off my chest right at this moment, but Guido is out-posting me by about a 3:1 ratio so I feel as if I must do my part.

Some of the "baseball traditionalist" crowd is upset over Major League Baseball's assertion that it wants to have instant replay implemented for iffy home run calls by August. Let the umpires do their jobs, they say. Human error is a part of the game.

The funny thing is — if any one of these "traditionalists" were to see their favorite team ass-raped out of a postseason series or maybe just a crucial late-season game because of a blown home run call...I'll bet they'd be changing their tune faster than Star Jones "worked off" all that excess weight. Everybody has a price.

I'm all for it, myself. It's not like instant replay in the NFL. (P.S. - I'm also in favor of that, especially when it calls are reversed in my team's favor). It isn't going to be used that frequently. It's no different than when the umpires huddle up and talk it over. At least now we'll be assured they get it right.

The Recap

BY: Guido

Early Wednesday morning UFC President Dana White announced a fight card set for July 19 on Spike TV. The Fight Night main event will feature UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva(21-4) stepping up to light heavyweight to face James Irvin(14-4). Due to the lack of competion in the middleweight division, Silva(6-0 in the UFC) may take more fights as a light heavyweight. This could also lead to a huge money maker for the UFC if they can book a Silva/Liddel match down the road.

The Boston Celtics won their 17th NBA title. I couldn't care less but I hear that Ben Affleck is very aroused. He even offered to move out of Matt Damon's house.

Reed Johnson tried to pull a David Eckstein-like squeeze play during last nights Cubs/Rays game. Despite Troy Percival and Dioner Navarro's efforts to throw the game, the Rays edged out a victory against the best team(record-wise) in baseball. The Rays are no slouches themselves, boasting a 41 and 29 record. Finally all the nursing and retirement home residents have a ball club they can be proud of. The highways and interstates should be safe until these old geezers start driving to the games.

Tiger Woods will miss the rest of the golf season(they have a season?) by undergoing a season-ending knee operation. The fact that he has been playing on a bum knee all year is quite impressive. Tiger won 5 of the 7 tournys he was in this year. I doubt a healthy Tiger will lose at all next year. Hype train starts in December! All aboard! Toot Toot!

"Hamburger Face" Walker was released from the hospital today. He plans on picking up GTA V: NBA vs NFL and playing it at his homeslices' crib.

Watch List Volume 1

By: Guido

Marcus Thames, I have my eye on you. You have 7 home runs in your last 7 games and yet, only 13 on the season. My friend, that just doesn't add up. Are you on something? Have you met Mr. Bako? In Dusty do you trusty?

Last night you hit a dinger to a part of AT&T Park that only Barry Bonds has ever reached.

"That’s good company,” Thames said. “I used to love watching him hit here. He was one of my favorites.”

My ass. Good Company? Seriously? I guess by comparison it's ok. I mean, nobody is, was, and ever will be a bigger cheat than Bonds, so Thames doesn't have to worry about that. But at the rate Thames is hitting lately, one has to wonder. Marcus, you are on the watch list.

Also, Edgar Renteria collected his 2,000 hit. At least he didn't do it in a Cardinals uniform.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


By: Guido

Javon Walker is just another victim of having more money than he knows what to do with. So, with all the troubles that NFL and NBA players seem to be having, Rockstar Games would be stupid not to jump on this free marking campaign and make some money.

Its new and it's da bomb, G. It's Grand Theft Auto V: NBA vs NFL. Yo, this game is so hot it will burn ya hands when ya steal it from your favorite electronic outlet. The game modes are crazy sick, dawg.

In Michael Vick mode you try to make millions running an illegal dog-fighting ring. The only problem is that you are currently tied up as the quarterback for the local football franchise. Don't let your responsibilities get in the way of being the "top dawg."

He shoots. He scores. Up in the club that is. They don't call him a shooting guard for nothin'. Play as Stephen Jackson and avoid all contact with the law as you serve your 7 game suspension. Go to strip clubs, buy dope and carjack mofo's, but look out for Johnny Law. Also, don't forget to father a few illegitimate seeds before you go back to your duties as team captain of the local b-ball squad.

Picture yourself in a cold, nothern NY city, KER-PLOW!, what the shizel was that? Holy Cedric Benson, you just nailed a pedestrian and she ain't movin' homie. Better get the &%@$ outta here! You already have enough on your plate with that sexual assault case stemming from an ex-skank. She just wanted you for your money anyways. Snap out of it dawg, you gotta lay low for a few weeks. Can you put aside your urges to go to the strip club and you weed dealer aside and hide out? Just another exciting mode featured in the new GTA!

You're a famous NBA Superstar. You have the best selling replica jersey and three NBA titles to boot. Unfortunatley some white beotch is claiming that you forced yourself on and into her at a ski resort hotel. Dumb white girl. Doesn't she know who you are? You told her to keep her mouth shut and now look? You've lost all credibility and probably some fans. Can you escape the Hotel with your head held high or will you be taken away in cuffs? Will you be able to bounce back on the court and also with your wifey? This is the toughest challenge in the game. Beat all four game modes and unlock the ULTIMATE LEVEL!

There are blood stains on the carpet, not to mention your shoes, gloves and knives. Did you really just kill your ex-wife and her boyfriend in a blind rage? No, it wasn't a blind rage. You, O.J., definetly plotted it out. Carefully. Very Carefully. You must flee. Make yourself vanish. The next few days are a shitstorm. You already don't pay for cable and now the cops are after you for murder. You can't turn yourself in. You and a buddy jump into your B-A-double D-A-double crooked letter white suv. Can your buddy out run the cops? Will you be found guilty of murder? Will Naked Gun 2 1/2 become a classic? Will you get busted by DirecTV? What about that sports memorbilia guy? He is such a punkass.

Not sold in any stores! Buy it today! Mark Chumura and Karl Malone approved!

Monday, June 16, 2008

Sprained Wang Hurts Yanks

By: Guido

The only bright spot for the Yankees' pitching rotation will be spending part of his summer vacation on the DL.

Chien-Ming Wang(no relation to Long-Duck Dong) suffered a mild foot sprain while running the bases against Houston on Sunday. Wang didn't give up and runs on 6 hits in his 5 innings of work. In addition to the 6 weeks it takes to heal, Wang will still have another 4 weeks or so to get himself back into playing form.

This is a huge victory for the Republic. The evil Empire is currently 6 games out of first place and in danger of falling fast. Wang lead the Yankees in victories with 19in 2006 and 2007 but may not pitch again this season.

Alrighty then, lets add that up. 6 hits. 6 weeks. 6 games out. Hmmm...interesting...just as I suspected...The New York Yankees are the antichrist...the antichrist with a sprained wang.

UFC 86 Preview

By: Guido

UFC 86 is still 19 days away but I'm already squeezing my butt cheeks together with excitement. I have already cleared July 5th of all duties and work. The build up will be killer, probably causing a few anxiety attacks and the nervous shits. But at least I will have something to do to pass the time(note to self: make sure you have plenty of toilet paper).

Dana White and the UFC have put together an excellent fight card. Much better than last month's injury riddled dud. Patrick Cote, Joe "Daddy" Stevenson and Josh Koscheck will be participating in the matches leading up to the title bout.

Quinton "Rampage" Jackson is ranked by as the number one light heavyweight in the world. Jackson is the favorite despite only defending his title once since beating Chuck Liddel last May. Oh yeah, he also hits like a ton of bricks and howls at nothing in particular. Jackson is big on the intimidation factor. He has mastered the art of the scowling while making his eyes seem as if they are huge, dark, lifeless pits. By the way, he punches very, very hard. He a bulky chain around his neck and

Forrest Griffin won the first season of The Ultimate Fighter after beating Stephan Bonner by decision in a 3 round war. More often than not, Forrest is left smiling after a fight while blood covers his face. Forrest does have quality wins on his resume, but to me it doesn't seem like he has enough. MMAWeekly ranks him as the number 6 light heavyweight in the world and I can agree with that. I think the UFC picked Forrest because of his popularity and charisma. I'm just afraid that it may be too soon.

There will be a long list of contenders for the fighter that walks away a champion. IF they walk away...

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Only 25% off?

By: Harvey

A recent shopping excursion to a certain major shoe/athletic apparel manufacturer's retail outlet store (I'll give you a teeny, tiny hint: it wasn't Nike or Adidas and it started with an 'R') found me discovering an entire rack of orange Cedric Benson jerseys. The price tag for these newly irrelevant articles was $39.99, but the store was generously slashing 25 percent off the marked price.

Only 25 percent, huh? Even though a sadistic part of me had thoughts of purchasing one of these future garage rags as a grim reminder of yet another first round draft pick blunder from my beloved Chicago Bears, a much more sensible, rational part of me told me to hold out for the 80 percent off sale. It's coming, because that waste of talent (and air) isn't coming back.

Until then, I'll just have to settle for my Rashaan Salaam jersey. Not to mention Curtis Conway, Curtis Enis, David Terrell and Cade F-ing McNown.

Welcome to the club, Cedric! You have joined a prestigious group of first-round flops. The good news for us Bears fans, based on that list, is you won't be going elsewhere and turning it around. You're probably done — unless we're talking about getting wasted. You still have a lot of that to do, and you shouldn't have any problem affording it with that contract you got out of college as the NUMBER 4 GODDAMN PICK in the 2005 draft.

Good luck with your future as a mug shot-adorning loser.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Wha Wha What?

By: Guido

All I can say about the Cardinals 20-2 lose to the Phillies on Friday night is "Loves It"!

It's too bad the it has taken an injury to Pujols for the Cardinals to play and pitch like their roster says they should. Though, they have had a good ride so far this season. Unfortunately for STL fans, the overachieving has come to an end.

As I sit here and pick the scab on my knee, I am reminded that even without Alfonso Soriano the Cubs should be primed to take an even bigger lead in the NL Central. Hey, and Jim Edmonds isn't even using his walker in center field this year! Holla! Holla!

Is this the "Year Of The Cub"? We will found out come late September. But one thing is for sure, the Memphis Redbirds version of the Cardinals isn't going anywhere but down. Though, they still may trade for another Oakland CY Young contender down the road. He will also probably have arm trouble when he starts his first full season in STL. Dana Eveland anyone?

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Paul "The Hammer" Bako

By: Guido

Dusty Baker has had been lucky enough (or unlucky, depending on your point of view) to have managed three very prolific home run hitters. Dusty had Bonds in San Fran, Sammy in Chicago and now, Junior in Cincy.

Either Dusty gets a hard on from the long ball or it's just dumb luck. So maybe he supplies a little bonus for his guys every now and then. You know, just to get his Home run fix.

Did Barry cheat? Is Clay Aiken Gay? Seriously, you're not fooling anybody. Yes, he cheated.
Did Sammy cheat? Not according to his interpreter....yeah he did.
Did Griffey cheat? We wouldn't want to believe it if he did.

Yet, it seems old Dusty has moved on to a new man. Sure Griffey is still on the team but Paul Bako is absolutley killing the ball, sort of.

Paul Bako is a week shy of turning 36 years old. He went over two season without hitting a homer. Paul has hit 2 dingers or less in 8 of his previous 10 seasons. Before the 2008 season he had 15 career homers.

It's the second week of June and Mr. Bako has 6 home runs. 6!!!

Fuckin' cheater.

More Than A Game

By: Guido

Brian Urlacher showed up to take part in his first voluntary workout on Thursday and the Bears couldn't be happier. Urlacher is looking to get a new contract because the 9 year deal he signed back in 2002 is out-dated.

Yet, there are still some grumblings among fans. But to tell you the truth, I don't give a crap how many more millions of dollars the Bears have to give Urlacher to make him happy. He is arguably the best player on the team.

Contracts don't cross my mind when I watch the games on Sundays. I just want to watch my team win. I want to watch my favorite players succeed on the field. That's what being a fan is all about.

Yeah, to some people it is just a sport with a bunch of high paid jerkoffs who have drug and drinking problems, don't pay child support, and that one guy who killed his ex-wife. But to the guys who take the field, it's a job.

No matter what your profession is, you want to be paid what you think your worth. Now is Urlacher worth the new deal? Maybe not down to the very last penny. But, then again, the guy down at McDonalds isn't worth what he is getting paid. Though, as long as he doesn't spit in my McDouble Greasy, he can have is 8 bucks an hour


Welcome friends to the brand, spanking new Sports Jerks blog. If you want to hear a totally honest take on the world of sports, look no further. Me and my buddy Guido have no misconceptions about our style: for every time you agree with us, there might be 10 times you think we are jerks. Thus, the name of this blog.

While you may not always agree with what we have to say (sometimes we don't even agree with each other), we think you'll always find it interesting. Come back often, we've always got a lot to say . . . and don't be shy about letting us know what you think via comment or email at You can't hurt our feelings, and maybe you'll even change our minds about something.

We hope you have as much fun with this blog as we plan on having with it ourselves. Enjoy!

The Sports Jerks