MLB News

By: Clay

-The Braves finally removed Billy Wagner from their 40 man roster.
-Cubs catcher Max Ramirez cleared waivers and was outrighted to minor league camp.
-Mets reliever Jason Isringhausen, who didn't make the club out of Spring Training, agreed to spend two weeks in Port St. Lucie.
-The Royals designated catcher Lucas May for assignment.
-The Royals placed Jason Kendall on the 15-day DL.
-The Astros plan to designate Ryan Rowland-Smith for assignment Thursday. The Astros will have ten days to outright Rowland-Smith to the minor leagues, trade him, or release him.
-The Yankees are selling Romulo Sanchez's rights to a Japanese team.
-Andre Ethier told Tony Jackson of ESPNLosAngeles that he won't be surprised if the Dodgers trade or non-tender him after the season.
-The Pirates traded infielder Jim Negrych to the Marlins for catcher Carlos Paulino.
-The Phillies released second baseman Luis Castillo. In place of an injured Utley, the Phils will go with Wilson Valdez and some combination of Michael Martinez, Pete Orr, and Delwyn Young.
-Outfielder Dewayne Wise exercised his out clause and has been released by the Marlins.
-The Yankees released Ronnie Belliard.
-The Rockies acquired third baseman Josh Fields from the Pirates for a player to be named later or cash.
-The Indians placed Grady Sizemore on the 15-day DL.
-The Brewers placed Jon Lucroy and Corey Hart on the 15-day DL.

Upcoming Noteworthy MMA Fights

By: Clay

April 9th
Strikeforce: Diaz vs Daley
Nick Diaz (24-7) vs. Paul Daley (27-9-2)
Gilbert Melendez (18-2) vs. Tatsuya Kawajiri (27-6-2)

April 30th
UFC 129
Georges St-Pierre (21-2) vs. Jake Shields (26-4-1)
Jose Aldo (18-1)vs. Mark Hominick (20-8)
Lyoto Machida (16-2)vs. Randy Couture (19-10)
Ben Henderson (12-2) vs. Mark Bocek (9-3)

May 28th
UFC 130
Frankie Edgar (13-1-1) vs. Gray Maynard (10-0-1)
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson (31-8) vs. Matt Hamill (10-2)
Frank Mir (14-5) vs. Roy Nelson (15-5)

June 4th
UFC UF 13 Finale
Anthony Pettis (13-1)vs. Clay Guida (28-11)
Jonathan Brookins (12-3) vs. Jeremy Stephens (19-6)

June 11th
UFC 131
Brock Lesnar (5-2) vs. Junior Dos Santos (12-1)
Shane Carwin (12-1) vs. Jon Oliv Einemo (6-1)
Mark Munoz (10-2) vs. Demian Maia (14-2)

June 18th
Strikeforce Heayvweight Grand Prix Quarterfinals
Alistair Overeem (34-11) vs. Fabricio Werdum (14-4-1)
Josh Barnett (29-5) vs. Brett Rogers (11-2)

Jake Shields Training with Chael Sonnen, Matt Lindland

Goddamn, that's a mean look from Chael. Did the photographer say "money laundering" as he snapped the photo. If he did, he probably got an ass beating from Chael's evil doppelganger.

My Topps Million Cubs cards

My Topps Million Cards

2011 Topps Heritage

By: Clay

Bought one of those Target 3pack of Topps Heritage with the bonus 3 black bordered cards. Not bad for $8.99. Except that damn Theriot card. Looks airbrushed. You know that feeling you get when someone dies? its the same when you have to put on a Cardinals uniform.

Official!!! The Darkness Return!!!

By: Clay

After 5 years, The Darkness has returned to rock your cocks off. If you haven't heard The Darkness then do your ears justice and go to youtube and watch some videos. These guys were the biggest band in the UK for a couple years and never got the recognition they deserved here in the states. Do yourself a favor a check them out or return to your regularly scheduled Glee(karaoke) remakes.

MLB Promotional Giveaways: Back in 2007

By: Sports Jerks

Back in 2007, before Sports Jerks existed, we created a list via text messages of funny MLB promotional giveaway nights that would never happen. For your amusement, here they are.

Barry Bonds Guide to Interview Etiquette
Rafael Palmario Lie Detector Kit
Jim Edmonds First Aid Kit
Pepsi presents the Sammy Sosa pocket translator
Pokey Reese free condom night
Tony La Russa free 16oz beer night (kids 15 and older)
Tony La Russa mug shot t-shirt
Sammy Sosa game used corked bat card from Topps
Tony La Russa steering wheel cover
Mike Piazza Express For Men Shopping Spree
KC Royals Open Contract Night
Randy Johnson Mustache night
Michael Barrett Brass Knuckle Night
Ozzie Guillen's Big Book of Racial Slurs and other Bigotry
Alfonso Soriano Oversized Glove Night
Lou Piniella Water Balloon/Base Launcher

UFC/ZUFFA Purchase Strikeforce

Fuck Fuck Argh

By: Clay

The NFL players’ union has decertified. Hope you like college football because that looks like the only football we will be seeing this fall. In the meantime, this gives Peyton Manning more time to do commercial work, something he likes to get started on after the first round of the NFL playoffs.

ESPN Late to the Party

By: Clay

A took a bit for ESPN to jump into the MMA world. This video shows their MMA rankings for top ten pound-for-pound. Pat Miletich gives ESPN writer Josh Gross some shit for not having Gilbert Melendez and The Reem on his list. I have to agree with Pat. ESPN, it's mainstream(Yankees/Sox, Duke, UNC, Favre, Brady, etc...) or nothing. That's their creed.

2008 and 2010 Allen & Ginter sets complete

By: Clay

Thanks to Nachos Grande at fanofreds.blogspot.com and a couple ebay sellers, I have completed my 2008 and 2010 Allen & Ginter Sets as well as 2008 A&G Deadliest Sharks, Aviation and 2010 This Day in History. So Thanks to all who contributed to these completions.

2011 Topps Opening Day

By: Clay

Actually, 2011 Opening Day isn't too bad. Topps has went back to gold foil stamping on their blue bordered cards. I hope that trend crosses over to the regular set. I hate the black serial numbering. But I didnt buy too much of the product. I got all the Cubs fellows and some of the others I collect. Unfortunatly I didn't pull an Auto this time. Oh well.

25 of the Greatest UFC disses ever

By: Clay

Honestly, you could do this whole clip with just Chael Sonnen. And then at the end of the clip, Koscheck just sounds like a moron.

Hair Puller

Stockton's secrect move? Why, it was pulling leg hair of course.

We Are The Darkness!

More Unrelated News

NL Central Musings

By: Dustin

This isn't meant to be terribly in-depth...although maybe if you're lucky I will elaborate later on.

Anyway, I just want to make sure all you silly Cubs and Cardinals fans realize that Cincinnati will repeat as division champs this year. If the Reds don't win it, the Brewers will. Book that shit. St. Louis finishes no better than third, and the Cubs will only finish higher than the Pirates. It's going to be a long, long season for you folks. Have fun.

Do Santos/Lesnar UFC 131 June 11th

By: Clay

The official date has been set for Lesnar and Dos Santos. Keep the evening open and probably the morning after. UFC 131: Retribution will be LIVE on Saturday, June 11th from the Rogers Arena in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada.

Brock Lesnar has the size, strength and speed to be something the UFC has never had; a dominant heavyweight champ. However, Lesnar's heart, dedication and willingness to get hit in training raise makes one question if Lesnar is just in it for the ungodly amount of cash the UFC pays him.

But, if Lesnar can make Dos Santos work off the mat, then Brock should work his way to a ref stoppage or unanimous decision. the whole MMA community knows that Brock isn't much of a stand and trade guy and can't take a well placed punch. Lesnar needs to out-wrestle and outlast his opponents. The three "S's" would be enough to make any fighter dominate a division for years. the only thing Lesnar is missing is octagon intelligence. He COULD be the complete package. He just needs to get his head straight and dedicate himself to being a mixed-martial artist. Because unlike the WWE, MMA is very real.

Duke Flopping Camp

By: Sports Jerks

In honor of Duke's loss yesterday, here's the cherry on top! From the archives...

Now on Ebay from Sports Jerks

By: Clay

Had some questions about what this card looked like. Well here it is. Happy Bidding. And don't forget to bid on my 2008 Allen and Ginter AUTO William Ocean. The bidding is only at $2.25 a little over a day left!

More From the Wacky World of Chael Sonnen

By: Clay

This Chael Sonnen excerpt is taken from Fighters Only. Bring the pain, Chael!

"I happen to know, from one of my very highly-placed sources at the UFC, that Michael Bisping's 'goodwill account' is seriously overdrawn with the company. He's on very thin ice wearing really sharp skates, if you know what I mean. So, there are only TWO possible outcomes for him: He can fight me, or he can get released," Sonnen stated.

"He needs to fight me to keep his job. But...and this is a big but...I don't have to fight Michael Bisping to keep my job. If I decide not to fight him, they'll set me up with some other contender I can ridicule, then pound into fine powder. But Bisping's got me, or he's gone. I hold the "whip hand" in this deal; so if he wants to feed his family without going on the 'dole', he better apologize."

"Spitting on Jorge Rivera's cornermen brought disgrace to himself, to the sport, and to all fighters, me included. That's why, first and foremost, Michael Bisping owes me an apology," Sonnen said.

"Once he agrees to do that, I'll decide what form his apology should take. I may want a singing apology. I may want him to choreograph and perform a little "apology dance". I may make him kiss my ring like I'm the Pope, or kneel before me like I'm the King and he's being knighted. I'm not sure what I'll decide on...but he does owe me an apology."

God damn that Chael Sonnen is one crazy rascal. If there's one guy who knows how to sell a fight, it's The Rock. But if there's another guy, it's Chael Sonnen. If this fight does happen, it could possibly be a middleweight title contenders match.

Strikeforce: Feijao vs. Henderson

By: Clay

It's been awhile since I've seen Hendo in action. Actually in was at Strikeforce Nashville when they had the "Nashville Brawl". Definitely a hilarious moment in Strikeforce history.

Since then, Henderson defeated Sobral in December in the Strikeforce light heavyweight eliminator match. So now Hendo gets a shot at Rafael "Feijão" Cavalcante. I think tonight Dan Henderson will make a statement to the mma world by once again becoming a champion. Hey, remember at UFC 100 when Henderson knocked out Bisping with a right and then followed it with a thundering diving punch on an unconscious Bisping? That was awesome.

...In Unrelated News

By: Clay

The Darkness returns!

The Darkness are currently working on their third album with their original lineup. The album is being recorded at Leeder's Farm in the UK. BADD ASS! Best Day Ever. Enjoy this video.

Cut The Fat

By: Clay

Peyton Manning chants "cut that meat", I chant "cut the fat". "Cut" meaning dispose of and "fat" pertaining to Carlos Silva.

What the Cubs got out of him last years was as good as it's gonna get. By dropping him now the Cubs will send a message to the rest of the team, No Bullshit! They've put up with alot of crap from Zambrano but frankly, he is owed too much money and his upside is to great to just dump. Silva, however, has a bad contract and basically feasted on weak ass NL hitting through out the first half of the 2010 season.

By getting rid of Silva, the cubs open up the fourth and fifth spots in the rotation for the younger guys like Cashner, Diamond and Coleman. I'll take a chance on that group than be weighed down by Silva. Look, the Cubs got what they wanted by moving Milton Bradley but now it's time to just cut their losses all together.

Besides, the Cubs are planning to retool for this season so they can look enticing to Pujols or any other free agent first bagger next offseason. Do you think Pujols is gonna want to be involved with a team that constantly puts up with bullshit from its players? Look at some of the pitching staffs Pujols has played with. He can win with Dempster, Zambrano, Garza and a couple young guns. Hell, he can win with Jeff Suppan, Jason Marquis and Jeff Weaver!

So Hendry, cut the fat would ya?

Sports Jerks Unofficial MMA Rankings

By: Clay

Heavyweight
1. Cain Velasquez
2. Brock Lesnar
3. Alistair Overeem
4. Junior Dos Santos
5. Shane Carwin
6. Big Foot Silva
7. Sergei Kharitonov
8. Fabricio Werdum
9. Frank Mir
10. Matt Mitrione

Light Heavyweight
1. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua
2. Rashad Evans
3. Rampage Jackson
4. Lyoto Machida
5. Forrest Griffen
6. Jon Jones
7. Randy Couture
8. Ryan Bader
9. Thiago Silva
10. Rich Franklin

Middleweight
1. Anderson Silva
2. Yushin Okami
3. Chael Sonnen
4. Nate Marquardt
5. Demian Maia
6. Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza
7. Jorge Santiago
8. Michael Bisping
9. Vitor Belfort
10. Robbie Lawler

Welterweight
1.Georges St-Pierre
2. Jon Fitch
3. Jake Shields
4. Nick Diaz
5. Josh Koscheck
6. Carlos Condit
7. Paul Daley
8. Martin Kampmann
9. Thiago Alves
10. B.J. Penn

Lightweight
1. Frankie Edgar
2. Gilbert Melendez
3. Gray Maynard
4. Shinya Aoki
5. Eddie Alvarez
6. Tatsuya Kawajiri
7. Jim Miller
8. Clay Guida
9. Anthony Pettis
10. Melvin Guillard

Ebay Items from Sports Jerks

By: Clay

Chael Sonnen Ready to Fight, Bisping/Rivera

By: Clay

Finally Chael Sonnen is free to fight after serving a six-month suspension and paying $2,500 fine from the Cali State Athletic Commission. Chael and the UFC are now free to negotiate a fight for an upcoming show for Chael. My guess would be that we will see Chael take on Michael Bisping.

Lots of fighters have thrown their name in the hat to fight Bisping after Bispings actions following his fight vs. Jorge Rivera last weekend. My take on the Bisping situation is this; He apologized and he was amped up from the fight. I understand that the knee was illegal and he was penalized for it. And if you watch the replay, you see Rivera move his right leg and foot in a way that would indicate he was about to stand up. Basically just bad timing by Bisping. Those things happen. Rivera should consider himself lucky that he was even given an opportunity to fight Bisping as they are clearly on different levels of the middleweight division.

Rivera did a good job selling the fight but made himself look like a royal ass by doing it. And then he also puts his boxing coach in the mix, who isn't even a fighter. He's just a coach. So he needs to limit his words and actions. Now, I can see how spitting on someone is fucking low bullshit and I would be mad too, but they can't complain because Bisping gave them the finger. What is this, fourth grade? they all need to grow up.

Now, Sonnen is one of the handful of fighters to say he wants Bisping. Here is Chael's email to UFC matchmaker Joe Silva.

To: Joe Silva, Matchmaker Extraordinaire, Ultimate Fighting Championship
Re: Spitsbing & his tainted victory

Joe:

If you get a chance to talk with him, please mention to your idiot-in-residence Michael Spitsbing it’ll be a little tougher to knee ME in the head when I’m charging at him like a runaway train and mincing him through the fence like a boiled potato, should we ever have the pleasure of each other’s company for a few (VERY few) moments in the Octagon.

Oh; and I’d suggest to him being a little careful about spitting on any of MY cornermen, since any one of them can beat him up as badly as I can. Thanks ever so much.

Hope all is well.

-Chael Sonnen

Let it begin. Sonnen 1, Bisping 0

UFC Live: Sanchez vs. Kampmann

By: Clay

Bantamweight bout: Brian Bowles vs. Damacio Page
Middleweight bout: Alessio Sakara vs. Chris Weidman
Middleweight bout: C.B. Dollaway vs. Mark Muñoz
Welterweight bout: Diego Sanchez vs. Martin Kampmann

I'll take Bowles over Page, Sakara over Weidman, Munoz over Dollaway and Kampmann over The Dream Sanchez. I predict in another Fight of the Night performance, Diego will lose this one to Kampmann.

He Gone!

By: Clay

The Bears finally cut ties with Tommie Harris. After his recent injuries, Jerry Angelo finally figured out that Harris would never be the same player he once was. Hunter Hillenmeyer was also released.

Now, can someone please get rid of Angelo so we can have some decent draft selections. Angelo CANNOT evaluate talent. What a jagbag.