Benson the Bengal — who'da thunk it?

By:Harvey

Cedric Benson is officially a Cincinnati Bengal. Seems fitting, even though he was cleared of all charges from his summer arrests. I'd say he still has some issues, but that doesn't seem to be something the Bengals have ever been worried about. Sort of like winning football games.

In other NFL news, Lane Kiffin has been shit-canned by Al Davis and the Oakland Raiders. There are some work situations where being fired may actually be the best thing that can happen to you, and I believe this may be one of those cases.

Davis, who as usual came off looking crazier than a shithouse rat, completely threw Kiffin under the bus today. He put a list of Kiffin's supposed shortcomings on an overhead projector for everyone to see and told reporters that Kiffin was a "professional liar" in regard to some of the claims about how Kiffin's termination was handled. Never mind the fact that Davis has hired and fired five coaches in the last seven years...it's obviously not his fault in the least.

I'd write the list of senile ramblings, but honestly I don't want this post to go on forever. I just want to know how anybody can still root for this trainwreck. The Raiders are a damned laughingstock, mostly because of their Elvis-jumpsuit Methusala of an owner. Of course, most Raiders fans I've met are idiots in their own right....so perhaps it all goes together.

Scott Linehan also got his walking papers in St. Louis. It's a noble gesture, but firing Scott Linehan is sort of like pissing on a burning two-story building. It's a good start and onlookers truly believe you're trying to help the situation, but at the end of the day...you're not accomplishing a damned thing.

By the way, I thought I'd mention that the Colts are still 1-2. Fuckers.

Guido's Losers: Baseball Edition

By: Guido

Team: New York Yankees
It just feels good to know that there will not be a New York team in the playoffs. Simply boner-riffic. Thanks Tampa.

Most Disappointing Batter: Cleveland Indians/Detroit Tigers
Both teams are chalk full of flops and injured superstars. Both of these teams should have been fighting it out for the AL central crown. Therefore, all the batters on both rosters win this award.

Sammy Sosa Award(dumbest injury): Carlos Quentin, Alfonso Soriano
Quentin injured his wrist after slamming his bat with his wrist. Soriano tweaked his ankle while making a jumping catch...he didn't need to jump. Would this award go to a player in any other city? I mean, really?

Vince Colman Award: *unfortunately, there wasn't a player run over by a tarp machine*

Fantasy Baseball Savior: Mark DeRosa
Mark qualified to play all spots except SS, C, and P. He saved teams a lot off add/drops and played damn near every day.

MLB Pussy of the Year: Milton Bradley
Milton was hurt more times than...Kerry Wood.

Too Much Hype Award: Kosuke Fukudome
His first day as Cubs right fielder still remains his best.

Guido's Winners: Baseball Edition

By: Guido

AL Manager: Joe Maddon
Did anyone really think that the Rays would do anything this year? The AL East is extremely tough with the BoSox and Yankees. Plus the Jays are usually average.

AL MVP: Justin Morneau
If it was a popularity contest then Josh Hamilton would win hands down. The Twins played well enough in the second half to possibly earn a playoff spot or a play-in game. They won without Santana and they probably shouldn't have.
AL Most Improved Hitter/Fielder: Aubrey Huff
Huff had career highs in almost every batting category. He stroked the ball nicely.

AL CY Young: Cliff Lee
This was a tough one to call and I almost gave it to Roy Halladay. For whatever reason, the Indians played like shit all year and yet, Lee only lost 3 times. It was Lee's awesome control that earned him 22 victories on an underachieving team.

AL Rookie of the Year: Evan Longoria
I chose Longoria over the Chisox 2B Alexei Ramirez because Longoria had slightly better numbers. However, I feel that Ramirez had a stronger impact on his team. The Rays continued to win games when Longoria was injured. It came down to who was the better player and that was Evan.

AL Most Improved Pitcher: Cliff Lee
Sucked ass last year. And on a good team, nonetheless.

AL Relief/Closer: Mariano Rivera
Mariano had better overall numbers that K-Rod. K-Rod earned the single season save record but he blew 7 saves compared to Mariano's 1. Plus, Mariano did it on a crappy team and had a lower era.

AL Hidden Gem: Carlos Quentin
Carlos was cast aside in amongst all the young talent in Arizona. The White Sox took a chance and ended up making the best move in the off season. If he had stayed healthy, he would could have been the AL MVP.

NL Manager: Ned Yost
Ned Yost was shafted big time. He shouldn't have been fired that close to the end of the season. The Brewers won the wild card and I believe Yost deserves a lot of the credit.

NL MVP: Albert Pujols
I don't believe that the MVP should come from a winning team(see Derrek Lee 2005). Pujols proved again this year that he is the best player in the game and his fans are the biggest jackasses next to NYY fans.

NL Most Improved Hitter/Fielder: Jorge Cantu
Jorge didn't play very much last year and wasn't supposed to be the starting 3B in Florida this season. He played like he was going to be deported...or traded to the Pirates.

NL CY Young: Tim Lincecum
Same as Cliff Lee. Lincecum pitched his ass off on a God awful team. Brandon Webb is a close second.

NL Rookie of the Year: Geovany Soto
Most though it would be Kosuke Fukudome. Unfortunately for Kosuke, he couldn't hit squat after the all-star break. Geo played solid all year and had huge hits for the Cubs as well as catching Zambrano's no-hitter.

NL Most Improved Pitcher: Ricky Nolasco
Ricky was a Cubs cast-off a few years ago when they traded him for Juan Pierre. Idiots! Ricky emerged as the Florida ace this year because Olsen and Johnson were injured.

NL Relief/Closer: Brad Lidge
Brad Lidge was money. Maybe the nightmares of Pujols 3-run 2005 NLCS blast have faded. Only time will tell. There's always time to create new memories and the Brewers will have the first shot.

NL Hidden Gem: Ryan Dempster
The Cubs rotation was all about Zambrano to start the 2008 season. Ryan remained consistent and healthy through-out the entire season. He finished the season 17-6 with a 2.99 era. Not bad for a former closer and for a Canadian. Baseball trumps hockey.

The Coach Is A Roody Poo Candy Ass

By: Guido

Recognize that mug? It should be no problem if you are a young man between the ages of 27 and 12.

It's Jonathan Coachman. Any current or former(oh, wrestling is fake? Time to move on.) WWE(WWF) fan is cringing right now and muttering under their breath about their hatred for The Coach.

Hey, I admit, I used to be a huge wrestling fan. I watched it whenever it was on and I would also record it on vhs tapes(no such thing as dvr). That was years ago.

Recently The Coach made his latest heel turn...as an anchor on ESPNEWS!!! Seriously! So now I'm left wondering if all the Yankee and Red Sox jibberish that dominates the ESPN airwaves is actually true or part of a WWE/ESPN storyline.

What's next? Scott Van Pelt taking a chair to the back of the head during the 8 a.m. Sportscenter? Trey Wingo calling out Stone Cold for an on-air beer drinking contest? Or maybe Mike Greenberg actually getting to put on more make-up and a dress so he can parade around like a WWE Diva?

Someone should tell Coachman that he just sold his soul. This is the equivalent of a WWE Superstar thinking he can make it as a Mixed Martial Artist. Brock Lesnar found out very quickly that the world of MMA is very different when compared to the WWE lifestyle. Well, except for the fact that he is boning Sable every night but just to be true to her wrestling roots, she's probably faking. But for him it's too much fun to not believe it's for real.

You know, I think as long as I don't have to hear him try to pronounce every name with the robust enunciation as Michelle LaFoutaine, I'll be fine with it. Man I can't stand damn LaFountaine. I wish The Coach would jump her in the locker room and then make her fight Kane in a Hell in a Cell. Wishful thinking I guess.

Who You Foolin'?

By: Guido

I'm calling it now so write it down in your journals. Put it under the heading of "Funny Things Guido Says". And end it with XOXO and your name.

Trent Green is going to die this year!!!

As you can clearly see by the exclamation marks, I mean business. He. Will. Die. No, that's not a cousin of Will.I.Am.

The Rams' o-line is so horrendous.

That's it. They're horrendous. There isn't anymore to add to that. That's all I have.

There is no helping that o-line. Their only hope is that the visiting team hangs out at Mike Shannon's Steaks and Seafood the night before. They have an excellent drink and weed limit -- infinity! Plus they let you drive yourself home so, win-win.

I can't wait to see where the NFL places the TG patches that will be worn in a week or two. When will someone with the initials "FU" die? Now that's a patch I wanna see.

False Alarm

By: Guido

I would just like to correct an earlier post about hockey. The actual number of people who care about hockey is 14. We made an educated guess and 17 was pretty close. 14 ranks two fans above baby eating and five behind competitive toenail flicking. Congrats!!

Took Ya Long Enough

By: Harvey

The Detroit Lions franchise ended one of the longest-running jokes in the NFL today when they announced the end of Matt Millen's tenure as team President and CEO. Good move, if it was say...2003. As it stands, owner William Clay Ford doesn't look any smarter because it took him 7+ years to realize the guy was inept in this particular capacity.

Millen took over the day-to-day operations of the Lions back in 2001, and to show his gratitude he put together teams that went a combined 31-84. That's why Jon Kitna sounds like such a douche when he guarantees 10 wins before every season. At their average pace since Millen took over, it would take the Lions 36-37 games to accumulate 10 wins. That'd be one long season.

Reading the AP story this afternoon, there's a lot of unbelievable stuff. Here's a quote I love from team vice chairman Bill Ford, Jr. (daddy is the chairman, see) from when he announced his hiring of Millen in 2001:

""I'm willing to stake my reputation on Matt's success."

"We've been pretty much stuck on dead center for quite a few years," William Clay Ford said when Millen was hired. "Matt offers us an opportunity to move ahead."

Well, your reputations are now brownish in color and currently circling the bowl on their way into a sewer somewhere, boys. Oh yeah, and Fords are piece-of-shit vehicles, too.

Anyway, here's what Billy had to say Monday after having more than seven years to think it over:

"I think the fans deserve better," Bill Ford told reporters on Monday. "And if it were in my authority, which it's not, I'd make some significant changes."

Well, I suppose the first step to fixing a problem is to admit you have one. Even if it takes you three times as long as it takes your fans (see picture above) to realize it.

There was a collective "son of a bitch" emitted from fans around the rest of the NFC North with this announcement...is it possible that sometime in the near future the Lions won't be regarded as two easy wins on the schedule? One can only hope it doesn't come true. Every league needs its laughingstock, and I'm starting to get the feeling that as long as somebody named Ford is calling the shots at the top...we'll still get to mark Detroit down as a gimme for quite a little while yet.

News Flash

We now interrupt your regularly-scheduled programming for this Sports Jerks Breaking Sports News Bulletin.....

Hockey season is right around the corner. According to early polling, there are approximately 17 people across the United States who actually give a shit.

.....we now return you to your regularly-scheduled programming. This has been a Sports Jerks Breaking Sports News Bulletin.

Week Three NFL Observations

By: Harvey

Has it really been over a week since either one of us posted on here? No excuse, I know...but Guido and I are actually busy guys. Or totally whipped by our ladies. Yeah. That's it.

Anyway, the Patriots got their asses handed to them by the Dolphins(!). How in the world does that happen? Last I checked, Tom Brady doesn't play defense...so it's sort of hard to blame 38 Miami points on his knee injury. Perhaps my earlier assertion that the Pats would be okay without Mr. Giselle Bundchen was incorrect. Perhaps they weren't going to be that great even if he was around.

I'm sure this'll end up being about him somehow, though. He tends to be the focus on Patriots talk. Why wouldn't he be? He's such a stud, he actually had his fill of BRIDGET MOYNAHAN and moved on. I wouldn't have thought such a feat possible unless I'd actually seen it done.

Speaking of impossible feats, the Colts are 1-2. So are the Bears, but let's not focus on them. Let's focus on the Colts. Who are 1-2. One win, two losses. Thank you Josh Scobee, by the way. You're a big part of why the Colts are 1-2. 1-2! Ha!

The Colts haven't started a season this badly since they went 0-3 (and 0-4 the next week) in 1998. That was Peyton Manning's first year. They went 3-13 that season. God willing, this season will go that badly. Not that I have anything against the Colts or anything like that.

No matter how much I dislike the Cowboys, they're the real deal and I don't really think anybody else in the NFL has anything on them. They should be everybody's pick to win it all. They may not get it done, but anybody who picks somebody else is absolutely delusional or letting their judgment be clouded by some sort of personal bias. Let's face it, the odds are squarely in the Cowboys' favor at this point. They're damn good. Of course, ask the Patriots how that worked out last year.

Did I mention the Colts are 1-2?

The only good part about the Cowboys winning last night was that they did it against the Packers. Chicago needs all the help it can get in the NFC North, which believe it or not I think is still a winnable division. Unless you're the Lions. They flat-out suck. Matt Millen must give a terrific BJ, because I can't fathom any other skill the man could possibly possess that allows him to hold onto his job.

Of course, no team blows quite as hard as the Rams. I'm not sure of the last time a team managed to go 0-16, but after this season the last time will be 2008. Book it.

One more thing. The Colts are 1-2. Damn do they suck.

NFL Notes for Week 2

By: Guido

Here's the scenario: 3rd and 1 at the 50yrd line, 3:00 to go in the 4th.
What do you do? You sure as hell don't pass the ball, right? Oh wait, Ron Turner is your offensive coordinator, you say? Well fuck yeah, throw that pigskin. Well isn't that cute, BUT IT'S WRONG!!! The Bears need to fire Turner. He is a waterhead.

I think the Patriots will be just fine. Brady needs some time off anyways. He's got some mouths to feed. He's a white athlete. Which has everything to do with the fact that he LOVES and CARES for his bitches...and probably his kids.

What's the deal in Jacksonville? Looks like a bust to me. Same with Minnesota.

Jay Cutler may actually be a NFL quarterback. Who woulda thought?

Green Bay looks pretty tough and Rodgers has played well. We'll see what happens when he meets Brian Urlacher. I think they will get along swimmingly.

I'm sure that Tony Romo is a great guy, but as long as captain assclown is on his team then I can't cheer for Dallas. I would love to see TO eat shit Monday Night. It won't happen, however, as McNabb is planning on getting hurt and going on IR for the year.

Notes On Zambrano's No-No

By: Guido

PART ONE: Finally! It seemed like forever. It felt like it just wasn't gonna happen. What a load off "Sweet" Lou's back.

Pulling Zambrano in game one of the 2007 NLDS so he can be ready for game four has finally paid off! Man, and you guys criticized to no end. Well, in your face.

Seriously though, 12 days of rest somehow worked for Big Z as he tossed the first Cubs no-hitter since Milt Pappas in 1972. Is this a sign that it could be the 12 days of Christmas for the Cubs in October? Well that would be nice, wouldn't it?

I'm not sure how many pitchers have tossed a no-hitter after taking themselves out of their previous start because they thought they might be injured, or on 12 days rest. Zambrano has came close so many times and it's badass that he finally made it all the way. I would have to give credit to Geovany Soto as well. He called a good game...or so I hear.

I didn't see the game. It wasn't televised on Dish Network. Even a local newspaper screwed up and printed that the game was on WGN at 1pm. That's weird considering on the front page of their paper they printed that the game would be at 7:05 and Monday's game would be at 1. Dingbats.

I contacted a couple people and asked if they had watched it and they hadn't. They had the same problem I did. Hell, I was notified by a text message. I had no clue. My score updates didn't go into detail. I just knew we were winning. And for that whole deal, I am pretty pissed off.

PART TWO: Unfortunately, for the rest of baseball, it couldn't have happened to a more hated pitcher. As most Cubs' fans are aware, Zambrano isn't the most well liked player. It's his fiery Venezuelan temper. Which somehow is an excuse to be somewhat of a jackass sometimes(see Ozzie Guillen). I know The Worlds Greatest Fans(TM) in St. Louis are cringing at the thought of waking up Monday morning. And they will resort back to their same old tactics of 10 World Championships and drunk Cubs' fans. Yeah, yeah I've heard it all before. But enough about those Poo-holes lovers(how original), this is the year that Cub's finally do it...maybe.

Evan Tanner 1971-2008

By: Guido

Evan Tanner was found dead on Monday. He was 37. Evan was a former UFC middleweight champion and Texas state high school wrestling champion.

Evan compiled a MMA record of 32 wins and 8 losses during his 11 year fighting career but never considered himself a fighter. Evan first stared fighting in 1997 after learning MMA moves from instructional VHS tapes. Tanner's background in wrestling made him a natural at the sport and give him a strong base to work with.

Evan captured UFC gold by defeating David Terrell in February of 2005. Evan's championship reign didn't last but a couple months as he was defeated by Rich Franklin.

Two fights later, Evan left the UFC to experience the mysterious ways of man, nature, and the universe. A complex man, Evan loved to read and travel. He chronicled his adventures on his website and myspace page. It was a big hit amongst his friends and fans.

In 2007 Evan signed a four fight deal with the UFC. He only fought twice and lost both times. Tanner was also still blogging for his website and for Spike.com.

Evan's latest journey was to be a spiritual one in the Palo Verde mountain area. The area is a very harsh and dangerous desert landscape. Tanner was last heard from on Sept. 2nd and a search for him began on Sept. 6th. Tanner's body was discovered not long after police found his campsite and motorcycle.

Evan wrote in his last blog entry:

“I’ve been gathering my gear for this adventure for over a month, not a long time by most standards, but far too long for my impatient nature. Being a minimalist by nature, wanting to carry only the essentials, and being extremely particular, it has been a little difficult to find just the right equipment. I plan on going so deep into the desert that any failure of my equipment could cost me my life.”

He continued:

"It's really common down in southern California to go out to the off road recreation areas in the desert about an hour away from LA and San Diego. So my plan is to go out to the desert, do some camping, ride the motorcycle, and shoot some guns. Sounds like a lot of fun to me. A lot of people do it. This isn't a version of "Into the Wild."

Evan is now on his biggest adventure yet.

Indiana Tried To Ruin My Weekend, Failed

By: Guido

I'm a big time MMA fan and I haven't missed a UFC PPV in quite a while. UFC 88 was the first in a long time and I'm glad it happened.

Avenue Cable in Vincennes, Indiana is joke of a company. If you want to order a PPV, you must let them know during the week(7a.m.-7p.m.). You can't just pick up the remote and click order like you can with all the other cable companies. So, in that instance, fuck Avenue.

So, after I finished complaining to the Avenue people I got on the net and searched until I found a website that was streaming the fight live. It was shitty quality and would sometimes freeze and the come back on with the audio off track. The fights still sucked regardless of video quality. Right before the Hamill/Franklin match the website went down. Franklin won in what was probably the best fight of the card.

It came back on for the Chuck Liddell/Rashad Evans match. What a joke. That damn Rashad Evans, in all his showboating ways, caught Chuck with a lucky shot. It was a lot like the punch that Rampage caught Chuck with last summer. I know I wasn't the only person disappointed because not a sound could be heard at the Phillips arena.

As it turns out, I was glad I didn't drop $45 to watch that card. Well, Avenue, you tried to ruin my night and you failed miserably. Kiss my ass you Colts Fans.

Goodbye Horses

By: Guido

I visit Vincennes Indiana every other weekend. Unfortunately the Bears/Colts game fell on that weekend(my apologies to the gang). I got to see many Colts' fans close up. I learned about them and I learned from them but I didn't speak a word to them.

*Friday the 5th*
I did not make contact with anyone wearing the Colts colors.

*Saturday the 6th*
I put on my 2006 NFC Champions shirt and traveled to Evansville with my female companion to visit the zoo and a shopping mall. I expected to see locals in blue and white but there was a car show at the zoo. No Manning jerseys, just Mustang t-shirts. Also, the zoo had wild horses but no bears. Does that make any sense. I always thought that bears were a lock for zoos. Wild horses on the other hand, well, who cares? It was time to leave the zoo.

The first thing I saw at the mall was some poor fellow in a Bears shirt and hat being dragged about by his wife and daughters. They were "jewelry" shopping in a Claire's. Torture in it's simplest form. It was a sea of blue after that. Every store had something in it that pertained to the Colts and Hoosiers. Heck, the athletic apparel stores had their fair share of Urlacher jerseys and Bears sweatshirts. They also had a jersey for every player on the Colts roster. And, let me just say, I do not understand the pink and glittery jerseys. Why? Are these supposed to be targeting the gays? I see more women in the actual colors than the pink. The pink looks stupid. Pink says "I know nothing about football. I just bought this 'cause I saw Jessica Simpson wear it. Now, what inning is it?"

I wasn't heckled until Sunday at Arby's and I found that to be very strange. All the Colts' fans back home will give me shit to no end. The topics usually range from Super Bowl XLI, Rex Grossman, uh....actually that is about all they can come up with. Not the hardest thinkers. Certainly not the smartest either. Just because your quarterback is one of the most intelligent guys to ever play the game doesn't mean that it carries over to his fans. I basically got stared at. I know they were thinking "Idiot. We are going to kick your ass tomorrow night." I wouldn't have argued with them. I figured we lose but I did wonder how Peyton would look. Atleast the Bears don't have the ugliest qb in the league. Peyton sounds like he always has a sinus infection. Probably from some STD he got in college.

*Sunday the 7th*

I donned the Hester jersey around 9 a.m. I felt like a BAMF even though I was going to be watching a funeral for the Bears 2008 season. I was more noticable than the day before. Though, there weren't a whole lot of Indianians wearing the Colt logo, I could still sense their inner Coltness. Most of them fans since Manning's second season. That's their dirty little secret. There is no Colts legacy. No tradition. No history. That's what hurts them the most. They can say what they want about the Bears qb and rb flops over the past 20 years but atleast we have am identity as the Monsters of the Midway. They may have a championship from 2006, but for every 14 win division championship, there is a playoff collapse.

Like I said earlier, I was heckled at Arby's. The fellers girlfriend had a Manning jersey(the Wal-mart cheapo; What's with those? They look like shit) and when he saw me he mouth, while tugging at his shirt, "What's this". I had a mouth full of Arby-q and mad some sort of noise which sounded like dying seal. Whatever. And why does it seem that people will ask you a question right as you take a bite of something? Let's look into that with science someday. They must have been poor cause they shared a sandwich but had their own fries.

A few hours later the Bears were victorious and the Colts and their fans had plenty of questions. The Bears looked like they were the heavy hitters and the Colts looked like they were the ones with no o-line or running game. Though, it doesnt make up for Super Bowl XLI, it's a new season with new goals. With all the crazy shit that went down on opening weekend(I hate the thursday game as well)....anything can and will happen.

NFL Opening Day Observations

By: Harvey

Only about an hour until the Bears and Colts kick it off tonight. Even though every bit of common sense inside me tells me this is going to be a long season for Chicago...I can hardly stand the anticipation.

I've watched some football already today, of course. Brett Favre looked solid, even though I would've loved the opportunity to say otherwise. I still don't see the Jets as a playoff team, though.

Jon "10 Games" Kitna and the Lions lost to Atlanta and rookie quarterback Matt Ryan. Not that Ryan had much to do with it, other than not turning the ball over and giving the ball to Michael Turner. Turner was a beast, running for 220 yards. Kitna also didn't have a bad day, but fuck him anyway.

The Cowboys are tough. I hate seeing T.O. play well, but he did. I love seeing Tony Romo (fellow EIU alum) play well, and he did. Watch out for Felix Jones. He looked awesome running the ball, although he looked awesomely bad when he got plowed on a blocking assignment. As a result, Romo had to hurry a throw for his only pick of the day in the Cleveland end zone.

Tom Brady hurt his knee and came out for the Patriots. If he's hurt badly, the Pats still win 10-12 games without him. No sweat.

Vince Young also left the Titans' game with a knee injury. If he's hurt badly, the Titans still win 3-4 games without him. No sweat.

Carolina mismanaged the clock horribly late in their two-minute drill, but still beat the Chargers 25-24 on the last play of the game. Shawne Merriman, who is a total douche bag for playing and will be hurt and out for the season within six weeks, apparently made it through the game.

Guido should be here at my house as we speak to watch the Bears game, but instead he went to Indiana to watch it. Not Indianapolis. Just Indiana. I'll let him explain himself later.

Some NFL observations

By: Harvey

It's opening night in the NFL, but it's also Thursday. For some reason, I just can't get behind it. I don't necessarily mind Thursday night games, but open the season on a Sunday and then start with the Thursday games. Same goes for Major League Baseball. I know it's all in the name of ratings and advertising dollars, but it takes some of the luster off the beginning of the season...at least in my opinion. I doubt I'm alone.

I know he won a Super Bowl last year, but Eli Manning still isn't a great quarterback. Just ask Trent Dilfer how good you really have to be to get a ring. The reason I say this is because of how much he is being talked up these days by just about everybody. I promise you this, however; if the Giants struggle at any point, the asshole New York fans will turn on him. That's what they do...and for some reason, that's also why they consider themselves great sports fans. I don't get it.

Speaking of overrated quarterbacks, Daunte Culpepper retired today. He also whined like a bitch.

"Since I was not given a fair chance to come in and compete for a job, I would rather move on and win in other arenas of life," Culpepper said in an emotional letter he sent to the media.

Thirty-two (!) teams didn't feel like he was worth even bringing into camp. Time to stop blaming everyone else and face the fact that without Randy Moss he is nothing but an injury-prone QB who apparently wasn't even as worthwhile as established losers like Chad Pennington and a couple rookies in Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan. It would appear nobody even wanted him as a backup, for Chrissakes.

They got rid of the force-out rule on passing plays along the sideline. Sounds fine to me. One less judgment call for officials to eff up, probably.

Now there are no five-yard face masking penalties, either. Every one will be a 15-yarder regardless of severity. I've watched one game, and I've seen one instance of where this was called and it was complete bullshit. Fifteen yards for simply touching the mask...didn't even look intentional. I hate it.

I heard the NFL Live crew on ESPN playing their "Over-Under" game the other day, discussing each NFC North team and whether they'd win over or under nine games. For some reason, people are starting to say good things about the Bears and the previously-severely-underrated Kyle Orton. Almost gives me some hope for this season. Hope they don't prove me wrong Sunday night.

Preview of UFC 88: Breakthrough

By: Guido

UFC 88: Breakthrough
Live from the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia on September 6th

Chuck Liddell(21-5) vs. Rashad Evans(13-0, 1 draw)

Its the UFC media darling versus the undefeated Ultimate Fighter 2 winner. The Iceman versus "Suga" Rashad. This fight was supposed to happen at UFC 85 but Liddell had to pull out due to a hamstring injury. I still don't think Chuck is at the top of his game anymore, but I do thing he has rededicated himself since back to back losses last year. Rashad is a great fighter but he is too much of a showboat in the Octagon. Chuck wants his belt back and I do believe that he will stop Rashad in the second round from strikes.

Rich Franklin(23-3, 1 draw) vs. Matt Hamill(4-1)

Franklin by decision, I say. Both guys are warriors but in the end, Rich's experience will get the better of Hamill. This will be Franklin's first UFC fight at the light heavyweight level. The former middleweight champ has beaten everyone the UFC has thrown at him except Anderson Silva, pound-for-pound the best fighter in the world.

Dan Henderson(22-7) vs. Rousimar Palhares(8-1)

Again, experience will reign true as Henderson should win by ref stoppage. I would look for Hendo to try and take Palhares to the ground and pound him into oblivion.