Da Bears Season Preview

By: Guido

It's easy for me to get pumped up for Bears football when I watch their 2006 playoff game highlights on youtube. I long for those days. It was the single most magical moment for me when it started to snow during that ass-kicking we gave the Saints in the NFC Title game. And since then the Bears have given me one highlight to remember, Devin Hester's Super Bowl kick-off return.

2007 was a crap season, like seasons of the past. Top draft picks underachieved, vetern players showed their age, and fans screamed for a qb chance(after every quarter, half, game, practice, and week). It was horrible. It was horrendous. Looking back on that season, I would say the turing point was when the Bears traded Thomas Jones. Watch videos of this guy running for the Bears during the 05 and 06 seasons. He fought for every yard and found every hole. What Urlacher did for the defense, Jones did for the offense, not Rex Grossman.

Rex's success during the first half of the 06 season was based on knowledge, or lack-there-of. Sure, some of the teams the Bears played were softer than a Kenny G record, but their coaching staffs didn't have shit for video on Rex. Hence the way Rex played those first few weeks. The thing is, while teams were making adjustments to counter Rex's style, Rex was busy being King of Chicago. I even have a Grossman jersey. I fell for the guy and I feel like an IDIOT!

Now I know there are Bears fans out there who are giddier than a 15-year-old girl in Bret Michaels dressing room because they have been on the Orton train for the past year or two. Let me just tell you people this: Orton is not the savior. The Bears will not make the playoffs. They won't even win 10 games. Heck yes, they are better off with Kyle, but what difference does it make when your offensive line is shit, your defense is old and injury-prone, you don't have an established running back, and you don't have a go to reciever?

This team is going to perform as well as a dickless man in a masturbation contest. We're gonna screw around with or heads up our asses looking for our g-spots. But hey, I still think we will finish second in the division! Joy!