Saturday, July 26, 2008

Q and A segment: A New Feature, Possibly

By: Guido

I notice that a lot of people ask questions on Yahoo! Answers. I sometimes feel the need to break off a piece of knowledge into their asses. So now I will post and answer their sports related questions and show off how truly awesome I am.

DXTRCHN11 asks "If the Chicago Cubs win the World Series this year; which team will become next to end the WS drought?"

A lot of DXTRCHN11's buddies claimed that the Giants or Indians would be next. Yeah right. The Giants are a mess and the Indians just traded CC Sabathia, arguably the best pitcher in all of baseball. Though, I would say the Indians have a better chance than the Giants. My answer is Philly. You never said what classifies as a drought, so I choose the Phillies. They have superb hitting and pitching and will for the next decade. Ryan Howard and Jimmy Rollins were the last two MVP's and Chase Utley may do it this year.

Justin D Yahoo! Answers Man asks "How much do you want to bet that Mike Hampton does now make is start tomorrow?"

I predict that Hampton will last 5 or 6 innings, a couple runs, and 7 hits. He will be fine. Harvey seems to think that Hampton will "sprain his vagina during warmups". I guess I'm a little more optimistic.

Rednate asks "Why did the fans at the All Star Game boo Papelbon? I thought Yankees fans had more class than that.?

You are an idiot. Next question, please.

(symbols)PIM(symbols) asks "How do you feel about Barbaro being euthanized?"

I don't feel for horses. If barbaro was a dog...I might of shed a tear. He's a fucking horse. He's isn't even a "he", it's an "it". A horse!

Hamthugg asks "Who would be the best fit to lead the Chicago Bears to the Super Bowl Rex Grossman, Kyle Orton or Miley Cyrus?

Simply hilarious. Hilarious! Miley Cyrus? How random. How genius. You just pulled that from left field. Wow, that is sooooo funny. Not only is it a serious question, but Hamthugg has put a funny twist on it. Wow. And wouldn't it be funny if I said Miley Cyrus? Jackass. Rex Grossman will probably start this year, though Orton has a decent shot and I would personally prefer Kyle over Rex. As far as Super Bowl is concerned...I can't say.

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