Benson the Bengal — who'da thunk it?

By:Harvey

Cedric Benson is officially a Cincinnati Bengal. Seems fitting, even though he was cleared of all charges from his summer arrests. I'd say he still has some issues, but that doesn't seem to be something the Bengals have ever been worried about. Sort of like winning football games.

In other NFL news, Lane Kiffin has been shit-canned by Al Davis and the Oakland Raiders. There are some work situations where being fired may actually be the best thing that can happen to you, and I believe this may be one of those cases.

Davis, who as usual came off looking crazier than a shithouse rat, completely threw Kiffin under the bus today. He put a list of Kiffin's supposed shortcomings on an overhead projector for everyone to see and told reporters that Kiffin was a "professional liar" in regard to some of the claims about how Kiffin's termination was handled. Never mind the fact that Davis has hired and fired five coaches in the last seven years...it's obviously not his fault in the least.

I'd write the list of senile ramblings, but honestly I don't want this post to go on forever. I just want to know how anybody can still root for this trainwreck. The Raiders are a damned laughingstock, mostly because of their Elvis-jumpsuit Methusala of an owner. Of course, most Raiders fans I've met are idiots in their own right....so perhaps it all goes together.

Scott Linehan also got his walking papers in St. Louis. It's a noble gesture, but firing Scott Linehan is sort of like pissing on a burning two-story building. It's a good start and onlookers truly believe you're trying to help the situation, but at the end of the day...you're not accomplishing a damned thing.

By the way, I thought I'd mention that the Colts are still 1-2. Fuckers.