The Coach Is A Roody Poo Candy Ass

By: Guido

Recognize that mug? It should be no problem if you are a young man between the ages of 27 and 12.

It's Jonathan Coachman. Any current or former(oh, wrestling is fake? Time to move on.) WWE(WWF) fan is cringing right now and muttering under their breath about their hatred for The Coach.

Hey, I admit, I used to be a huge wrestling fan. I watched it whenever it was on and I would also record it on vhs tapes(no such thing as dvr). That was years ago.

Recently The Coach made his latest heel turn...as an anchor on ESPNEWS!!! Seriously! So now I'm left wondering if all the Yankee and Red Sox jibberish that dominates the ESPN airwaves is actually true or part of a WWE/ESPN storyline.

What's next? Scott Van Pelt taking a chair to the back of the head during the 8 a.m. Sportscenter? Trey Wingo calling out Stone Cold for an on-air beer drinking contest? Or maybe Mike Greenberg actually getting to put on more make-up and a dress so he can parade around like a WWE Diva?

Someone should tell Coachman that he just sold his soul. This is the equivalent of a WWE Superstar thinking he can make it as a Mixed Martial Artist. Brock Lesnar found out very quickly that the world of MMA is very different when compared to the WWE lifestyle. Well, except for the fact that he is boning Sable every night but just to be true to her wrestling roots, she's probably faking. But for him it's too much fun to not believe it's for real.

You know, I think as long as I don't have to hear him try to pronounce every name with the robust enunciation as Michelle LaFoutaine, I'll be fine with it. Man I can't stand damn LaFountaine. I wish The Coach would jump her in the locker room and then make her fight Kane in a Hell in a Cell. Wishful thinking I guess.