Goodbye Horses

By: Guido

I visit Vincennes Indiana every other weekend. Unfortunately the Bears/Colts game fell on that weekend(my apologies to the gang). I got to see many Colts' fans close up. I learned about them and I learned from them but I didn't speak a word to them.

*Friday the 5th*
I did not make contact with anyone wearing the Colts colors.

*Saturday the 6th*
I put on my 2006 NFC Champions shirt and traveled to Evansville with my female companion to visit the zoo and a shopping mall. I expected to see locals in blue and white but there was a car show at the zoo. No Manning jerseys, just Mustang t-shirts. Also, the zoo had wild horses but no bears. Does that make any sense. I always thought that bears were a lock for zoos. Wild horses on the other hand, well, who cares? It was time to leave the zoo.

The first thing I saw at the mall was some poor fellow in a Bears shirt and hat being dragged about by his wife and daughters. They were "jewelry" shopping in a Claire's. Torture in it's simplest form. It was a sea of blue after that. Every store had something in it that pertained to the Colts and Hoosiers. Heck, the athletic apparel stores had their fair share of Urlacher jerseys and Bears sweatshirts. They also had a jersey for every player on the Colts roster. And, let me just say, I do not understand the pink and glittery jerseys. Why? Are these supposed to be targeting the gays? I see more women in the actual colors than the pink. The pink looks stupid. Pink says "I know nothing about football. I just bought this 'cause I saw Jessica Simpson wear it. Now, what inning is it?"

I wasn't heckled until Sunday at Arby's and I found that to be very strange. All the Colts' fans back home will give me shit to no end. The topics usually range from Super Bowl XLI, Rex Grossman, uh....actually that is about all they can come up with. Not the hardest thinkers. Certainly not the smartest either. Just because your quarterback is one of the most intelligent guys to ever play the game doesn't mean that it carries over to his fans. I basically got stared at. I know they were thinking "Idiot. We are going to kick your ass tomorrow night." I wouldn't have argued with them. I figured we lose but I did wonder how Peyton would look. Atleast the Bears don't have the ugliest qb in the league. Peyton sounds like he always has a sinus infection. Probably from some STD he got in college.

*Sunday the 7th*

I donned the Hester jersey around 9 a.m. I felt like a BAMF even though I was going to be watching a funeral for the Bears 2008 season. I was more noticable than the day before. Though, there weren't a whole lot of Indianians wearing the Colt logo, I could still sense their inner Coltness. Most of them fans since Manning's second season. That's their dirty little secret. There is no Colts legacy. No tradition. No history. That's what hurts them the most. They can say what they want about the Bears qb and rb flops over the past 20 years but atleast we have am identity as the Monsters of the Midway. They may have a championship from 2006, but for every 14 win division championship, there is a playoff collapse.

Like I said earlier, I was heckled at Arby's. The fellers girlfriend had a Manning jersey(the Wal-mart cheapo; What's with those? They look like shit) and when he saw me he mouth, while tugging at his shirt, "What's this". I had a mouth full of Arby-q and mad some sort of noise which sounded like dying seal. Whatever. And why does it seem that people will ask you a question right as you take a bite of something? Let's look into that with science someday. They must have been poor cause they shared a sandwich but had their own fries.

A few hours later the Bears were victorious and the Colts and their fans had plenty of questions. The Bears looked like they were the heavy hitters and the Colts looked like they were the ones with no o-line or running game. Though, it doesnt make up for Super Bowl XLI, it's a new season with new goals. With all the crazy shit that went down on opening weekend(I hate the thursday game as well)....anything can and will happen.