New York, New Yuck

By: Harvey

Watching the NBA Draft the Thursday evening, I got a solid reminder of why I dislike all New York sports franchises and the loudmouth, asshole fans that come along with them.

The New York Knicks, the recently Isiah-less laughingstock of organized basketball on any level, took Italian star Danilo Gallinari with the No. 6 overall pick...which was met by a long, loud chorus of boos by the Knickerbocker fandom which showed up to collectively make a horse's ass of itself at Madison Square Garden.

"It's a part of the game," Gallinari, a 6-foot-8, 210-pound forward who averaged 17.5 ppg last year in the Italian pro league said. "All of the players have got to hear this. Not all of the time you can hear good things."

Quite an optimistic outlook for a guy who has landed in pro sports hell to try and begin his NBA career.

Let's face it. If you succeed in NYC, you become a folk hero and are worshipped forever and ever. The problem is this...their definition of success in that city is so demanding and out of whack most mere mortals simply do not have the ability to live up to it. Their expectations are so unrealistic, they are constantly miserable and dissatisfied with what their teams are doing.

These people probably showed up to MSG to boo regardless of who the Knicks selected, because that's how New York sports fans are. They are pricks. If Jesus Christ was entered in this year's draft and somehow managed to slip to sixth (I heard he needs to work on his left hand and on-ball D a little), these jerkoffs would probably boo. They have no idea they are booing a very strong player...they just know they've never heard of him before so he must not be any good.

Well, part of me hopes he is good, just to make the jagbags who ruined his big night at MSG look like the NYC sewer rats they are. Of course, it would be okay for me if he sucked, too...because it would probably mean the Knicks still suck as well.

I guess for me it's a win-win situation. For poor Danilo (and pretty much every other New York athlete) it is probably a lose-lose type of deal. Cheers.

The Recap 6-26

By: Guido

I chose this picture because it sums up the past few days. Random. By the way, if you ever see this kid, ask him what Jackoff Jimmy has been up to.

AS if there was ever any doubt, the Bulls took Derrick Rose with the first pick and the Heat took Michael Beasley. Miami tried to trade down and get players that they actually need but in the end they made the best decision. Beasley is probably the best player in the draft. So look for the Bulls to move Kirk Hinrich which will result in white kids across Iowa and Illinois to look elsewhere for a geeky b-ball idol.

Houston pitcher Shawn Chacon "choked slammed" the Astros GM when he found out he had been demoted to the bullpen. Oops, make that ex-Astros pitcher. Chacon is currently unemployed. It's a race between Dana White and Vince McMahon to place the first phone call.

The other night I happened to flip the tv to Spike, as UFC was soon to be on. I had to watch the final minutes of TNA Nonstop action. What I saw blew me away, actually not so much. Former UFC welterweight contender Frank Trigg did a run in with Kurt Angle. What a waste of talent. Yeah, he got his ass beat by GSP and Matt Hughes(twice, both by rear naked choke), but if he had devoted a little more time to MMA...he wouldn't be doing professional wrestling.

Congrats to the Baltimore Orioles. They became the second team to win a series at Wrigley Field this year. This is what happens when your ace, Zambrano, is hurt and you have to rely on pitchers like Jason Marquis to win games and and keep and era under 3. The other team the win at Wrigley was the Brew Crew and that was the opening series.

Larry Bird and the Indy Pacers traded Jermaine O'Neal to Toronto for T.J. Ford and some foreign guy. Yeah I know, who cares, right?

In NHL news...well, they still have a league, or maybe no? They do? Well, good for them. Why not? They have a professional soccer league. Might as well keep hockey around. I'll watch when Emilio Estevez coaches. Maybe if some hockey players had off the ice issues with, say, killing their ex-wives, dui's and drug abuse...It works for the NFL and NBA.

In other news, you won't be hearing from me for a few days as I will be on holiday untill Sunday evening.

All-Star, Schmall-Star

By: Harvey

I hate the All-Star Game.

You see, the problem with the MLB All-Star Game is the fans get to vote on it. Most of them don't know shit. They vote with their hearts and not with their brains. They vote for power hitters instead of guys who draw walks, hit behind runners and play good defense. They vote for their favorite players, not the ones who truly deserve to be there. Some people simply vote only for players on their favorite team. Jerks.

I know, I know. It's an exhibition. In the end, it's about the fans seeing the players they want to see. Well, screw them. That's why I hate it. The average fan cannot appreciate a truly good baseball game.

Me, I want to see two teams stocked with the very best players go head-to-head. I want to see a great game...the very best baseball has to offer. When we let the fans vote on the starters and then mandate that every team be represented, it starts to become a farce.

Just A Thought

By: Guido

Since Cedric Benson has to install an ignition-lock breath tester in his car, is it safe to say that the Bears will install one on Olin Kruetz's ass if Kyle Orton is the starting QB?

If a professional hockey team hires a new coach, will anyone care? That's one of those questions that answers itself.

Since the Cubs home win streak ended at 14, does that make 14 the new 13? Friday the 14th? Unlucky number 14?

Yahoo!sports said that "Maria Sharapova's outfit turned heads in her
first-round win." Well, do you suppose that heads were turning to watch the ball go back and forth? Who sits at a baseball game and says "Hey, I think Price Fielder is wearing tighter pants these days"?

Maple bats are dangerous in baseball. The syrup makes them stick to your hands. Weak.

How is winning a ballgame 19-10 a rout? You gave up 10 runs. YOU should have gotten your ass kicked. 19-0, now that's a rout.

Just a thought. Pray for me Pacman.

Truth Hurts

By: Guido

Do we really have to jump all over Don Imus. The man spoke the truth. Though, Imus did say that Pacman Jones should not have been arrested as many times as he had. And that's a load of shit. He should have been arrested. Imus also said that "everybody does something once." This is true as well but, people do things more than once. What I'm saying is, if you get arrested, you deserved it.

Turn on the television. Put it on ESPNews or CNN or whatever. Now, wait for a story about a white athlete shooting at some guys at a club or getting a DUI. You won't see it. White athletes get intro for two things. 'Roid rage and not paying child support(one child, by the way).

It doesn't look good for African Americans when they are represented by touble making athletes. It's not that these athletes are representing the whole race but at the same time, they are. You're not going to hear about the good things a person does on a regular basis. That's what's expected. To be a good citizen and not cause a ruckus.

Maybe we all need to lower or standards and just have segregation for professional sports. That way it will seem normal for the black athletes to cause trouble and for the white athletes to be great heroes that eat their veggies and pop their vitamins(aka steroids).

If getting arrested six times still doesn't help the cause with Pacman Jones, or in that case, any black athlete getting caught breaking the law, then maybe its time to get the hose out. These athletes are making an entire race of people seem like uneducated heathens and another race look like racist bigots.

Pray for me Pacman. Pray for me.

Oh Cripes

By: Guido

Do I really have to like this Edmonds guy? Because I don't want to like him. Can I just acknowledge him and be done with it? Or do I have to embrace him. Embrace Jim Edmonds. Embrace him as a decent left-handed bat. As a Chicago Cub.

It's going to take some time but maybe. Maybe I can do it. He was always such a hot dog bastard in St. Louis. But now...he plays for my team. I will say this. I don't WANT to like the guy. Still, I have to respect him. Plus, the Cubs basically got him for nothing. He sure beats the hell out of Felix Pie. Or Brant Brown. Or Corey Patterson. Or Randall Simon. Or Rickey Gutierrez. Or Glenallen Hill.

All that matters are these two words(x2) Cubs win! Cubs win! Which, by the way, they did.

Oh, Please

By: Guido

The greatest turnaround EVER? Seriously? I'm not buyin' it, Boston.

Look, if the Celtics had won this championship with the same team that they had last season, then yeah, I'd be pretty damn impressed. But no. They went and got two of the best players in the game in Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. The Celtics were the favorites to win it all as soon as they aquired those two. How could they not?

Had they played like shit and missed the playoffs, then that would be dramatic. But they did exactly what teams do when they go out and get great players that play well together. They win.

Even with the ego problems that the Lakers had with Kobe and Shaq (then later with Malone and The Glove added) they still won. They still did what was expected of them. The Yankees go out and buy the best players in the game. No matter how many times the analysts say that George Stienbrenner made a bad move, the Yankees still make the playoffs. How can they not? They have some of the best players.

The Detroit Tigers have some of the best players that money can buy in baseball. They didn't start the season too well. At one point they were in last place and winless in their division. They are winning ballgames now. I guarantee they make the playoffs.

I know. I know. You can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass. Or...wait...it's your ass. Whatever.

Did anybody bet against the Celtics? Nobody outside of LA could have. Think of it this way. The Boston Celtics are a cereal bowl. Paul Pierce is a spoon. That's all you have. So what now? What can you do with just a bowl and a spoon? You can pretend but other than that you can't do shit. Ok, so say Ray Allen is milk. Add that to your bowl. Not bad, eh? Now your getting some where. Now say Kevin Garnett is a delicious cereal, say, Lucky Charms. Well pour that shit on there ya chowdahead.

So now you have a bowl filled with milk and Lucky Charms, not to mention a spoon to eat it with. Oh wait, there is a prize in the box! What can it be? Well it's exaclty what is on the box. A pot of gold, also know as an NBA Championship. Well la-di-freakin'-da. Who would have thought?