The Prodical Bum Returns for a Second Tour

By: Guido

It has taken me awhile to accept the fact that the Cubs' new backup catcher is Paul "Fucking" Bako. If you are new to this page then let me tell you a little not-so-secret secret. I HATE PAUL BAKO. He can't hit for shit. I remember every time Dusty Bakers would play Bako...another 0-for-3 day at the plate...another game altering strike out or fly out. Fuck, man. Bako sucks. He made the FINAL out in the 2003 NLCS. Paul Bako? Really? Is that what it's come to? Bako's career batting average is .231. 2009 will be Bako's 12th MLB season. He's played for 11 teams. The Cubs will be the first team he's played for twice. That's not something to brag about. Or be proud about. It's like saying you've paid to see Bait Shop...Twice!...and it was never in theaters. Fuck. Paul Bako. I guess I'm still not ready for him. I hope to god, jesus, moses, and joseph smith that he's juicing.

That is why the Cubs will not win. They never learn.