Notes On Zambrano's No-No

By: Guido

PART ONE: Finally! It seemed like forever. It felt like it just wasn't gonna happen. What a load off "Sweet" Lou's back.

Pulling Zambrano in game one of the 2007 NLDS so he can be ready for game four has finally paid off! Man, and you guys criticized to no end. Well, in your face.

Seriously though, 12 days of rest somehow worked for Big Z as he tossed the first Cubs no-hitter since Milt Pappas in 1972. Is this a sign that it could be the 12 days of Christmas for the Cubs in October? Well that would be nice, wouldn't it?

I'm not sure how many pitchers have tossed a no-hitter after taking themselves out of their previous start because they thought they might be injured, or on 12 days rest. Zambrano has came close so many times and it's badass that he finally made it all the way. I would have to give credit to Geovany Soto as well. He called a good game...or so I hear.

I didn't see the game. It wasn't televised on Dish Network. Even a local newspaper screwed up and printed that the game was on WGN at 1pm. That's weird considering on the front page of their paper they printed that the game would be at 7:05 and Monday's game would be at 1. Dingbats.

I contacted a couple people and asked if they had watched it and they hadn't. They had the same problem I did. Hell, I was notified by a text message. I had no clue. My score updates didn't go into detail. I just knew we were winning. And for that whole deal, I am pretty pissed off.

PART TWO: Unfortunately, for the rest of baseball, it couldn't have happened to a more hated pitcher. As most Cubs' fans are aware, Zambrano isn't the most well liked player. It's his fiery Venezuelan temper. Which somehow is an excuse to be somewhat of a jackass sometimes(see Ozzie Guillen). I know The Worlds Greatest Fans(TM) in St. Louis are cringing at the thought of waking up Monday morning. And they will resort back to their same old tactics of 10 World Championships and drunk Cubs' fans. Yeah, yeah I've heard it all before. But enough about those Poo-holes lovers(how original), this is the year that Cub's finally do it...maybe.

Evan Tanner 1971-2008

By: Guido

Evan Tanner was found dead on Monday. He was 37. Evan was a former UFC middleweight champion and Texas state high school wrestling champion.

Evan compiled a MMA record of 32 wins and 8 losses during his 11 year fighting career but never considered himself a fighter. Evan first stared fighting in 1997 after learning MMA moves from instructional VHS tapes. Tanner's background in wrestling made him a natural at the sport and give him a strong base to work with.

Evan captured UFC gold by defeating David Terrell in February of 2005. Evan's championship reign didn't last but a couple months as he was defeated by Rich Franklin.

Two fights later, Evan left the UFC to experience the mysterious ways of man, nature, and the universe. A complex man, Evan loved to read and travel. He chronicled his adventures on his website and myspace page. It was a big hit amongst his friends and fans.

In 2007 Evan signed a four fight deal with the UFC. He only fought twice and lost both times. Tanner was also still blogging for his website and for Spike.com.

Evan's latest journey was to be a spiritual one in the Palo Verde mountain area. The area is a very harsh and dangerous desert landscape. Tanner was last heard from on Sept. 2nd and a search for him began on Sept. 6th. Tanner's body was discovered not long after police found his campsite and motorcycle.

Evan wrote in his last blog entry:

“I’ve been gathering my gear for this adventure for over a month, not a long time by most standards, but far too long for my impatient nature. Being a minimalist by nature, wanting to carry only the essentials, and being extremely particular, it has been a little difficult to find just the right equipment. I plan on going so deep into the desert that any failure of my equipment could cost me my life.”

He continued:

"It's really common down in southern California to go out to the off road recreation areas in the desert about an hour away from LA and San Diego. So my plan is to go out to the desert, do some camping, ride the motorcycle, and shoot some guns. Sounds like a lot of fun to me. A lot of people do it. This isn't a version of "Into the Wild."

Evan is now on his biggest adventure yet.

Indiana Tried To Ruin My Weekend, Failed

By: Guido

I'm a big time MMA fan and I haven't missed a UFC PPV in quite a while. UFC 88 was the first in a long time and I'm glad it happened.

Avenue Cable in Vincennes, Indiana is joke of a company. If you want to order a PPV, you must let them know during the week(7a.m.-7p.m.). You can't just pick up the remote and click order like you can with all the other cable companies. So, in that instance, fuck Avenue.

So, after I finished complaining to the Avenue people I got on the net and searched until I found a website that was streaming the fight live. It was shitty quality and would sometimes freeze and the come back on with the audio off track. The fights still sucked regardless of video quality. Right before the Hamill/Franklin match the website went down. Franklin won in what was probably the best fight of the card.

It came back on for the Chuck Liddell/Rashad Evans match. What a joke. That damn Rashad Evans, in all his showboating ways, caught Chuck with a lucky shot. It was a lot like the punch that Rampage caught Chuck with last summer. I know I wasn't the only person disappointed because not a sound could be heard at the Phillips arena.

As it turns out, I was glad I didn't drop $45 to watch that card. Well, Avenue, you tried to ruin my night and you failed miserably. Kiss my ass you Colts Fans.

Goodbye Horses

By: Guido

I visit Vincennes Indiana every other weekend. Unfortunately the Bears/Colts game fell on that weekend(my apologies to the gang). I got to see many Colts' fans close up. I learned about them and I learned from them but I didn't speak a word to them.

*Friday the 5th*
I did not make contact with anyone wearing the Colts colors.

*Saturday the 6th*
I put on my 2006 NFC Champions shirt and traveled to Evansville with my female companion to visit the zoo and a shopping mall. I expected to see locals in blue and white but there was a car show at the zoo. No Manning jerseys, just Mustang t-shirts. Also, the zoo had wild horses but no bears. Does that make any sense. I always thought that bears were a lock for zoos. Wild horses on the other hand, well, who cares? It was time to leave the zoo.

The first thing I saw at the mall was some poor fellow in a Bears shirt and hat being dragged about by his wife and daughters. They were "jewelry" shopping in a Claire's. Torture in it's simplest form. It was a sea of blue after that. Every store had something in it that pertained to the Colts and Hoosiers. Heck, the athletic apparel stores had their fair share of Urlacher jerseys and Bears sweatshirts. They also had a jersey for every player on the Colts roster. And, let me just say, I do not understand the pink and glittery jerseys. Why? Are these supposed to be targeting the gays? I see more women in the actual colors than the pink. The pink looks stupid. Pink says "I know nothing about football. I just bought this 'cause I saw Jessica Simpson wear it. Now, what inning is it?"

I wasn't heckled until Sunday at Arby's and I found that to be very strange. All the Colts' fans back home will give me shit to no end. The topics usually range from Super Bowl XLI, Rex Grossman, uh....actually that is about all they can come up with. Not the hardest thinkers. Certainly not the smartest either. Just because your quarterback is one of the most intelligent guys to ever play the game doesn't mean that it carries over to his fans. I basically got stared at. I know they were thinking "Idiot. We are going to kick your ass tomorrow night." I wouldn't have argued with them. I figured we lose but I did wonder how Peyton would look. Atleast the Bears don't have the ugliest qb in the league. Peyton sounds like he always has a sinus infection. Probably from some STD he got in college.

*Sunday the 7th*

I donned the Hester jersey around 9 a.m. I felt like a BAMF even though I was going to be watching a funeral for the Bears 2008 season. I was more noticable than the day before. Though, there weren't a whole lot of Indianians wearing the Colt logo, I could still sense their inner Coltness. Most of them fans since Manning's second season. That's their dirty little secret. There is no Colts legacy. No tradition. No history. That's what hurts them the most. They can say what they want about the Bears qb and rb flops over the past 20 years but atleast we have am identity as the Monsters of the Midway. They may have a championship from 2006, but for every 14 win division championship, there is a playoff collapse.

Like I said earlier, I was heckled at Arby's. The fellers girlfriend had a Manning jersey(the Wal-mart cheapo; What's with those? They look like shit) and when he saw me he mouth, while tugging at his shirt, "What's this". I had a mouth full of Arby-q and mad some sort of noise which sounded like dying seal. Whatever. And why does it seem that people will ask you a question right as you take a bite of something? Let's look into that with science someday. They must have been poor cause they shared a sandwich but had their own fries.

A few hours later the Bears were victorious and the Colts and their fans had plenty of questions. The Bears looked like they were the heavy hitters and the Colts looked like they were the ones with no o-line or running game. Though, it doesnt make up for Super Bowl XLI, it's a new season with new goals. With all the crazy shit that went down on opening weekend(I hate the thursday game as well)....anything can and will happen.

NFL Opening Day Observations

By: Harvey

Only about an hour until the Bears and Colts kick it off tonight. Even though every bit of common sense inside me tells me this is going to be a long season for Chicago...I can hardly stand the anticipation.

I've watched some football already today, of course. Brett Favre looked solid, even though I would've loved the opportunity to say otherwise. I still don't see the Jets as a playoff team, though.

Jon "10 Games" Kitna and the Lions lost to Atlanta and rookie quarterback Matt Ryan. Not that Ryan had much to do with it, other than not turning the ball over and giving the ball to Michael Turner. Turner was a beast, running for 220 yards. Kitna also didn't have a bad day, but fuck him anyway.

The Cowboys are tough. I hate seeing T.O. play well, but he did. I love seeing Tony Romo (fellow EIU alum) play well, and he did. Watch out for Felix Jones. He looked awesome running the ball, although he looked awesomely bad when he got plowed on a blocking assignment. As a result, Romo had to hurry a throw for his only pick of the day in the Cleveland end zone.

Tom Brady hurt his knee and came out for the Patriots. If he's hurt badly, the Pats still win 10-12 games without him. No sweat.

Vince Young also left the Titans' game with a knee injury. If he's hurt badly, the Titans still win 3-4 games without him. No sweat.

Carolina mismanaged the clock horribly late in their two-minute drill, but still beat the Chargers 25-24 on the last play of the game. Shawne Merriman, who is a total douche bag for playing and will be hurt and out for the season within six weeks, apparently made it through the game.

Guido should be here at my house as we speak to watch the Bears game, but instead he went to Indiana to watch it. Not Indianapolis. Just Indiana. I'll let him explain himself later.

Some NFL observations

By: Harvey

It's opening night in the NFL, but it's also Thursday. For some reason, I just can't get behind it. I don't necessarily mind Thursday night games, but open the season on a Sunday and then start with the Thursday games. Same goes for Major League Baseball. I know it's all in the name of ratings and advertising dollars, but it takes some of the luster off the beginning of the season...at least in my opinion. I doubt I'm alone.

I know he won a Super Bowl last year, but Eli Manning still isn't a great quarterback. Just ask Trent Dilfer how good you really have to be to get a ring. The reason I say this is because of how much he is being talked up these days by just about everybody. I promise you this, however; if the Giants struggle at any point, the asshole New York fans will turn on him. That's what they do...and for some reason, that's also why they consider themselves great sports fans. I don't get it.

Speaking of overrated quarterbacks, Daunte Culpepper retired today. He also whined like a bitch.

"Since I was not given a fair chance to come in and compete for a job, I would rather move on and win in other arenas of life," Culpepper said in an emotional letter he sent to the media.

Thirty-two (!) teams didn't feel like he was worth even bringing into camp. Time to stop blaming everyone else and face the fact that without Randy Moss he is nothing but an injury-prone QB who apparently wasn't even as worthwhile as established losers like Chad Pennington and a couple rookies in Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan. It would appear nobody even wanted him as a backup, for Chrissakes.

They got rid of the force-out rule on passing plays along the sideline. Sounds fine to me. One less judgment call for officials to eff up, probably.

Now there are no five-yard face masking penalties, either. Every one will be a 15-yarder regardless of severity. I've watched one game, and I've seen one instance of where this was called and it was complete bullshit. Fifteen yards for simply touching the mask...didn't even look intentional. I hate it.

I heard the NFL Live crew on ESPN playing their "Over-Under" game the other day, discussing each NFC North team and whether they'd win over or under nine games. For some reason, people are starting to say good things about the Bears and the previously-severely-underrated Kyle Orton. Almost gives me some hope for this season. Hope they don't prove me wrong Sunday night.

Preview of UFC 88: Breakthrough

By: Guido

UFC 88: Breakthrough
Live from the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia on September 6th

Chuck Liddell(21-5) vs. Rashad Evans(13-0, 1 draw)

Its the UFC media darling versus the undefeated Ultimate Fighter 2 winner. The Iceman versus "Suga" Rashad. This fight was supposed to happen at UFC 85 but Liddell had to pull out due to a hamstring injury. I still don't think Chuck is at the top of his game anymore, but I do thing he has rededicated himself since back to back losses last year. Rashad is a great fighter but he is too much of a showboat in the Octagon. Chuck wants his belt back and I do believe that he will stop Rashad in the second round from strikes.

Rich Franklin(23-3, 1 draw) vs. Matt Hamill(4-1)

Franklin by decision, I say. Both guys are warriors but in the end, Rich's experience will get the better of Hamill. This will be Franklin's first UFC fight at the light heavyweight level. The former middleweight champ has beaten everyone the UFC has thrown at him except Anderson Silva, pound-for-pound the best fighter in the world.

Dan Henderson(22-7) vs. Rousimar Palhares(8-1)

Again, experience will reign true as Henderson should win by ref stoppage. I would look for Hendo to try and take Palhares to the ground and pound him into oblivion.