Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Threat Level Z with a Little Help from His Friends

By:Clay

Last night Big Z looked like the Big Z that he has always promised to be. Hooray!



Then the 6th inning happened. Z was working on a one hitter when, in typical Cubs fashion, everything went to shit. And not because the Reds were playing better. Zambrano had already gone through the Reds lineup twice and had a four-run lead. Twelve batters later, the inning finally ends with the Reds leading 6-4.



So that gives you this picture for our Big Z Threat Level. But, while I am thinking about it, let me do some more Cubs related pissing and moaning.

Why is it that EVERY TIME a ball is hit to Soriano, his first step is to the wrong direction. You would think that after playing LF for as long as he has, and the fact that he is a professional baseball player, his timing and mechanics in the field would be a little better than some fat-ass beer leaguer. Fuck. Stuck with this guy. We're stuck with him. $19 million this season. I appreciate the effort by Hendry to get quality players but God damn... Anyway the Cubs can trade him to Seattle for Erik Bedard?

Darwin Barney. It's a fun name sure. DO NOT fall in love with this guy, Cubs fans. Remember Ryan Theriot, Mike Fontenot, Corey Patterson, Matt Murton, Brant Brown, Ryan O'Malley, Todd Walker, Matt Clement and on and on and on... By the end of this season, Darwin Barney will be Darwin Barney. It's great that he is playing well but come on, it isn't gonna last.

“You get beat, you get beat,” Quade said. “But we’re beating ourselves way too much, and we’ve got enough issues competing as it is without beating ourselves. When I see that, if I’m going to lose sleep, I’m going to have my say before I do, that’s all.”

Well DUH! It's about damn time that Quade got pissed. Fucking handle this shit. Bench some guys. Send a message. Despite the fact that the Reds and Brewers are the better teams in the NL Central, it's still a piss poor division. And this Cubs team is piss. Play defense. Play defense. Do major leaguers practice fielding during the season? Do they? Not this fucking team. Are they afraid of the ball? Millions of dollars a year...scared of the ball...beating gatorade coolers...fighting in the dugout...

Sometimes I wonder if some of these Cubs players over the year have even really given a shit about winning and playing hard.

Sam Fuld is NOT a great player. He is Sam Fuld. It won't last and "yes", the Cubs are better off without him.

The Cubs traded Ted Lilly for Blake DeWitt(and minor leaguers) last season. DeWitt sucks. He sucks. And THEN the Cubs don't even attempt to sign Lilly in the offseason. He wanted to play here! We could have had Dempster, Garza, Lilly, Zambrano and trash! That's pretty good. But, alas, we have Dumpster, Garza, Zongo the Clown, Casey "No Control" Coleman, Andrew "The Hype" Cashner, Randy "Corn Encrusted Turd" Wells, James "Suck Ass" Russell, and some guy named Doug Davis. What? Yes.

"Ladies and gentlemen, your half-assed assembled, no defense, streaky hitting, $145 million 2011 Chicago Cubs. Thanks for being the most loyal fans in MLB." -Tom Ricketts and Jim Hendry.

Fuck This Team. See you next year...in my new Pujols Cubs jersey.

1 comment:

clay said...

In my opinion, Posada's sack shrank up inside his uterus many years ago. Fuck ESPN and Fuck the Yankees.

I still believe that the Marlins will hang around til the end of August. It'll be a two team race by then between Atlanta and America's Armpit, Philly.

And by the way, did you hear that that espn dumbass Colin Cowhead or whatever, said that Jim Hendry was fired, then came back from commercial and said that he misread something? Fucking idiot. Check your facts dipshit.

And besides, why fire your GM when you just signed him to a two year deal?