Threat Level Rising

By: Dustin

I'll be interested to hear the updated Zambrano Threat Level from Clay after tonight's bed-shitting against the Reds. And by Reds, of course I mean the first-place Reds. I've made it clear already, but my opinion is this is also where Cincinnati will finish the season.

As things get nastier and nastier between the Cardinals and Reds, I find myself liking the Reds more and more. When these teams hook up, I honestly believe the Cardinals are more worried about the what the Reds are doing than what they are doing themselves. You have to take care of your own business, though, or nothing else really fucking matters. Better not forget that.

Of particular interest to me is the ever-tightening NL East, of course. The Braves are playing good ball after a less-than-stellar start. This is despite some injury concerns — Chipper has a slight tear in his knee (not the same knee as last year) and they're still figuring out what they're going to do about that. Heyward has a bad non-throwing shoulder that has kept him out of the starting lineup for the last several games. Peter Moylan's back surgery will have him out until August. Meanwhile, Philly is only going to get healthier with that greasy-looking fucker Chase Utley nearing a return along with Jose Contreras and Roy Oswalt. Domonic Brown has had some setbacks, but he and Lidge will both be around before the season's out . . . this team could be a lot better. Florida will fade — at least that's what I keep telling myself.

I've meant to blog about it before, and this is better late than never: what the hell is the deal in the AL Central? How can the White Sox be this bad? How can the Twins be the worst damn team in baseball? How can the Indians be this good? I know Chicago has won three straight series, but two were against Seattle and Oakland. I'm not impressed. Meanwhile, Cleveland is beating the holy shit out of a Royals team that is probably still playing a bit over its head at this point; last I checked it was 19-1 in the sixth, and some poor bastard named Vin Mazzaro had given up 14 earned runs in 2.1 innings. ESPN had this to say:

Vin Mazzaro just turned in, statistically, one of the worst relief appearances in the live-ball era (since 1920). 14 ER is tied for the second-most ER by a relief pitcher since 1920. It has happened on three previous occasions, and was only topped by the 15 ER charged to Nelson Greene of the Brooklyn Robins (later Dodgers) on June 20, 1925.

In the AL East, I have to say I appreciate the way they've managed to stretch this Jorge Posada "controversy" into three day's worth of stories. Why do I appreciate it? Because it serves as a reminder of why I resent pro sports on the east coast so much. They take absolute non-stories and turn them into weeklong soap operas that would be forgotten in most markets. New Yorkers will try to have you believe this somehow makes their market superior to yours. They're full of shit, and they're also assholes. Fuck them.

Here's this Midwestern hayseed dumbass bumpkin's uninformed and totally biased opinion of Posada's situation: he's old and he sucks because he's old. It happens to everybody. Some ride off into the sunset with a few shreds of dignity, and some go out in the manner Posada seems to be going out: looking like a washed up asshole who is unaware of the fact he has slowly devolved into an ineffective major league player. Much like his buddy Derek Jeter, he wouldn't be cashing these huge paychecks if not for the Yankees' ability to pay guys approximately 1,000 times more than they're worth. Oh yeah, Jorge . . . try not to have your wife bullshitting for you on Twitter anymore. It destroys the illusion that you have any testicles left.

It pisses me off that I've even devoted this much time to a division I supposedly hate, but I have to say one more thing: the Rays are somehow in first place. I can't see how this will be the case by the end of the season, but Jesus, I hope it is.