Baseball Notes Chapter 1

By: Guido

It's been an interesting week so far in the Majors. There has been three unpredictable and shocking deaths (Nick Adenhart, Harry Kalas and Mark Fidrych) and a few predictable events (Chris Carpenter strained rib cage, a preseason favorite tanking, and Barry Bonds is still out of baseball).

Let's start with beer swillin', hot dog eatin' fat ass David Wells. Wells recently became a commentator for TBS regular season and playoff baseball coverage. I applaude this move. I enjoy Wells' profaine language and outspoken personality. He's no Harold Renoylds, but he'll do just fine.

Yankees 1B/OF/blowhard Nick Swisher pitched in a game the other night. This isn't the first time a position player has covered an inning of relief when his teams was getting their asses kicked. Yet the sports media covered it like a Lindsay Lohan crotch shot.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. A cat ran onto the field during the Mets home opener. Let's hope this means the Mets are fucked for years to come.

Kevin Gregg likes to take showers of boos.

Former Chicago Cubs players on DL: Rich Hill (Bal), Angel Pagan (Nym), Tom Gordon (Arz) Cliff Floyd (SD).

Things that wont last: Division leading Baltimore Orioles, St. Louis Cardinals, and San Diego Padres. D Lee's "Paul Bako" like numbers. Christian Guzman's batting average(.515). Zack Duke and Kyle Lohse winning streaks (2 games).

Things that will last: Washington Nationals and Houston Astros starring as Doormats for their divisions. Mike Fontenot and Ryan Theriot hitting clinics. Milton Bradley pulled muscles. Tim Hudson's DL vacation. Zack Greinke's ERA (0.00).

So after a week, I rate this season as a 9 so far. A couple more losses for the Cards and Yanks and we could have had a 10. Though, if not for Reed Johnson's Badd Ass catch, then we'd be looking at a 6.