Ouch! My Butthole!

By: Clay

Wanna hear a joke? Ok, here goes. The 2011 Chicago Cubs. Doesn't even need a punch-line does it? Here's another! Alfonso Soriano. Waka Waka. Soriano may get old but that joke sure doesn't. Nope. Never does.

With the Blackhawks, Bulls and now, pretty much the Cubs season over, I haven't been listening to 670 The Score hardly at all. But when I do, they all seem to want to ask the same question to their callers. Why continue to watch the 2011 Chicago Cubs? The majority of these morons claim that there are only two reasons; for Starlin Castro or because you are a true Cubs fan.

Ummm, nah. I am a true Cubs fan. But I have expectations and I'm not gonna lower them. Not for anything. If it's not good enough, then it's not good enough. To quote Brock Lesnar, "This team is chicken shit". However, Lesnar claimed his team turned into "chicken salad". The '11 Cubs are not. They are just stinky chicken shit.

I'm not going to watch Castro and Darwin Barney play defense and get on base at a .300 clip just so I can watch Blake DeWitt and Carlos Pena hit into inning ending double plays. I don't care to see Tony Campana steal a base. Oh I bet those damn morons at Wrigley love that as the suck down an $8 hot dog and chug $12 cup of piss warm Old Style. "Look at that Campana, man. Even though the Cubs aren't so good this season, he is still playing hard. That's Cubs baseball and Cubs fandom". No. Fuck that. I want to win. Doug Davis. Doug "fucking" Davis. Yeah That's a great signing there. What were Ricketts and Hendry thinking? "Oh we are so fucking terrible. Let's sign some bum to fill in the rotation as opposed to bringing up a prospect". "Great idea Tom. I know just the guy. You remember Dale Davis from the Indiana Pacers? Yeah? Well it's his white brother Doug! And guess what! He can pitch. Oh he's bad but he has experience". "Sounds alot like your sister, Jim. Ha ha ha. Let's kiss".

I'm sure it more than likely went like that. And yet somehow that Astros are trying to keep pace with the Cubs as to not lose their grip on 6th place in the nl central. Damn Astros. Always in the way.

Zambrano pitched really, really well yesterday and has the entire season. I hope they trade him. He seems more focused this season and as one of my all-time favorite Cubs, I'd like to see him play for a winner. Big Z was right when he said the Cubs "were playing like a triple-a team". Hell, even the Jacob Fearday lead 1993 Neoga Pee Wee League Crunchers could beat their asses. Granted, catcher Nathen Beals is gonna cry after he K's in all his at-bats, but the Crunchers would shake it off and probably win in four innings via the mercy rule.

So if all this bitching about winning doesn't make me a "True" Cubs fan, then I don't want to be a "true" fan.

Rebuild or Compete...How About "Commit"

As I sit on the pot, I can't help but wonder what exactly the Cubs are going to do this season, in preparation of next season. By signing Carlos Pena and trading for Matt Garza, the Cubs showed they were going to make an attempt to compete this season. Hendry and Ricketts believed the 2011 NL Central to be a winnable division for the Cubs. I'm begining to think not.

Rather than a half-assed attempt, I would have much rather seen the Cubs play Soriano in right and at second in hopes to improve his trade value to an AL team in need of a DH with some versatility. And i certainly would have liked to have seen more playing time for Tyler Colvin. Why not play the guy as much as possible and see what production you can get out of him. It worked for Starlin Castro and is working for Darwin Barney.

I understand that the contracts for Fukudome and Soriano are so bad that they are unmoveable. Now, this is partly Hendry's fault and partly the player's fault. At the time of each contract signing, I was pumped and excited thinking about what these two could help bring the Cubs. What I (and Hendry) didn't expect was for Soriano and Fukudome to both be so damn awful at times that it could actual cost the team wins.

Granted, the Cubs organization has made some bad moves over the past few years and alot of fans are calling, and have been some time, for Jim Hendry to be fired. I don't agree. Hendry cannot predict if a player is going to live up to his contract. Everything Hendry has done for the Cubs has been with the purpose of creating a winning team. He put together the back to back division champs a couple of years ago. First time the Cubs went back to back since the 1907 and 1908 seasons. Hendry has commited to winning.

Ricketts, on the other hand, had committed to rebuilding. And yet, he gives Hendry to green light to sign Pena and trade for Garza. Please fellas, agree on one thing. Win now or rebuild. Don't half ass this Pujols/Fielder free agency period.

I'm starting to wish the Reds or Brewers would just run away with the damn division so the Cubs can start working in these younger guys. We need to see what we have left for 2011 that can help ultimatly bring a championship to the north side in the coming years.

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