Catching up with our millions of readers....

By: Harvey

Holy shit! Has it really been 12 days since anybody posted on here?

I've been a pretty busy guy lately between work, Thanksgiving and home-buying process, and I know a lot of crap has happened over the past few days that really deserves to be ridiculed.

First of all, the Bears are a mess and have probably pissed away their chances at a postseason spot with last night's reaming at Minnesota. Anytime the great Gus Frerotte takes you out to the woodshed, you know you're not a playoff team. Of course, Adrian Peterson was a stud and continues to own the Bears the same way I can own a spicy chicken burrito from Taco Bell.

Kyle Orton doesn't appear to be the same quarterback he was before the high ankle sprain against Detroit. I have to believe he was rushed back into action as the club has absolutely no confidence in Rex Grossman. If that is the case, then WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING ON THE ROSTER? Orton is tentative in the pocket and can't escape the pass rush. Not good when Jared Allen is getting around John "The Turnstyle" St. Claire like he doesn't even exist.

The Giants are the class of the league, and I think it's safe to say Eli Manning has passed up his big brother on the list of the NFL's elite signal calllers. While Peyton was squeaking one out against the mighty Cleveland Browns and their soon-to-be ex-coach Romeo Crennel, New York was owning the 'Skins and showing again it is the only real powerhouse in the so-called NFC "Beast".

It doesn't even matter that standout Plaxico Burress was sidelined with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the leg. Yeah, I thought I heard it wrong the first time, too. But that's really what Plax did. The dumbass piece of shit shot himself in the leg Friday night while illegally carrying an unregistered pistol at a nightclub. If the New York authorities don't throw the book at him, I really hope Roger Goodell does. When are these asswipes going to learn?

At least I can take solace in the fact that Green Bay is blowing it too. If the Bears finish ahead of the Packers, consider it a moral victory. That and the Lions finishing 0-16, which is a lock as far as I'm concerned. Also, Brett Favre sucked yesterday, which still makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Matt Cassell, on the other, hand single-handedly ass-raped my fantasy team with two interceptions, two lost fumbles and zero touchdowns after piling up nearly 70 points over the past two weeks.

Moving on to college football, I've heard the grumblings about Charlie Weis and his future at Notre Dame. If all goes well, he doesn't have one. I never get sick of watching this once-storied program continually fuck things up, and I'm praying they do again by letting him go. Don't get me wrong, this bulbous tub of shit isn't half the coach he was touted as when he left the Patriots for South Bend, but there isn't a college coach on the planet who has proven himself after three seasons. Golden Domer fans don't seem to realize this; they think it is still 1988 (the last year they won a national title) and that a 6-6 season is about as good as an 0-12 one.

Speaking of teams I love to hate, how 'bout them Wolverines? Rich Rodriguez certainly has his work cut out for him after this debacle. God willing, this horror story will continue in Ann Arbor (who is a whore) for quite some time.

I'm about sick of seeing Tyler Hansbrough on the sidelines wearing street clothes, by the way. I hardly give a shit about that goofy-looking fucker when he's actually suiting up, and I know I couldn't care any less when he's just sitting there. By the way, has anybody else noticed his absence hasn't seemed to make a damned bit of difference? UNC is still killing everybody. Makes you wonder how good this pasty bastard really is, and if there are in fact eight other guys on the team who could do what he does if the coach chooses to make them the centerpiece. Personally, I think Tyler has first-hand knowledge of what Roy Williams' schlong tastes like. It would explain more than one thing to me.

Illinois is 6-0 so far in Bruce Weber's "Please, God don't let me get fired before my stud recruits get here" season. The competition has been a small step above pathetic, but it's a giant leap for the Illini to be undefeated at this point. Honestly, I wasn't sure if this club could win 10 games all year. I'm certainly feeling that Weber has coached these kids up and has a group that will play hard and learn, even if they take some beatings from time to time. Once Alex Legion become eligible in December, this may be a dangerous team for the upper echelon of the Big Ten. One of those "trap games" that good teams get to talk about. Hell, maybe they can even get invited to a postseason tournament.