Now What, Captain Shit Dick

By: Clay

The Cubs were desperate to move the majority of their bad contracts, get younger, set themselves up to make offers to Pujols or Fielder in the offseason and compete in a winnable 2012 NL Central division. So what happened? Fukudome was sent to Cleveland, The Pirates asked about Geo Soto(not for sale according to Hendry), were linked to Aramis Ramirez and took a look at Carlos Pena(as did the Diamondbacks). The Cubs dangled Carlos Zambrano in front of the Yankees, who laughed and decided they would take their chances with Bartolo Colon. Marlon Byrd was also available but the rest of the league already knew what the Cubs didn't and that is that Byrd is a fourth outfielder, not an everyday player.

While deals can still be made through waivers, I would assume most of these guys to be around for next season.

Carlos Pena is cheap enough and hasn't really done anything to prove he is worth a larger contract from another team. The power came about Mayish but the avg is still shit. However, he is a cheap enough option that if the Cubs can't sign Prince Fielder or Albert Pujols in the off season, Pena could do the trick at first.

Carlos Zambrano almost figures to be a part of the 2012 Cubs unless the Cubs decide to settle VERY low on a trade. The Cubbies will certainly have to shell out the vast majority of what is owed to him if a trade did go down. On the bright side, if Big Z does stay on the North Side for the 2012 season, his '13 option will not happen(Option guaranteed if Cy Young (1st or 2nd in 2011 or 2012 top 4) and healthy] at completion of 2012 season). Booyah.

The defense Aramis Ramirez plays is just like that of a young Scott Rolen. NOT! A-Ram will not be around for the 2012 season. His 2012 option looks like this: Option becomes guaranteed if player wins one MVP from 2007-2011(sadly, no), places 2nd or 3rd in MVP twice from 2007-2011(...uh-uh), or wins LCS MVP(sigh), or is an AllStar 3 times from 2007-2011, or is traded and exercises 2011 opt). Aramis would have, and I guess still can, get a $1 mil bonus if he gets traded this season. I'm not sure if that applies after the trade deadline but I don't see why it wouldn't. Prospect Josh Vitters doesn't seem to be making much progress and more than likely will not be ready to play third at the major league level for 2012. However, I don't see any reason as to why he isn't getting a shot right now since this season is shit. More on that later.

The Cubs feel confident that Alfonso Soriano will be moved to an AL DH position by the beginning of the 2012 season, of course eating a LARGE portion of the salary. This is part of the reason they don't mind keeping Marlon Byrd around. Seriously, they've started him this long so they may as well keep him to replace Soriano. Plus, the Cubs organization likes the type of player that Byrd is.

As far as the rest of the team goes, I see Geovany Soto, Sean Marshall, Starlin Castro, Matt Garza and Carlos Marmol as the "untouchables". Decent starting catchers are hard to come by and I don't see any reason to move Geovany Soto until the Cubs are sure about Wellington Castillo. Seriously, no one wants Koyie Hill to start. Hopefully it isn't too late for the Cubs to realize that Sean Marshall should be starting. I don't even have to address why Castro is safe. Marmol is lights out most times and is signed through 2013. And considering the other options *cough* Grabow, Samardzija, Kid K *cough*...nuff said. If only Matt Garza got run support. What a Beast.

Jeff Baker I could go either way on. I like that he plays every position but guys like that are a dime a dozen as evident by the St. Louis Cardinals roster.

Blake DeWitt, PLEASE GO AWAY!

Reed Johnson is an ok 4th outfielder. Please Cubs fans, he doesn't need to start. He isn't good enough to be an everyday player. Your brains are clouded by Old Style and Roosevelt Brown.

Darwin Barney...will come back down to earth. But while he's hot, fine by me.

Randy Wells, Rodrigo Lopez, James Russell, Ramon Ortiz. Would YOU want these guys on your team? Fuck no.

Tony Campana, DJ LeMahieu, Lou Montanez...Who are you guys and what's wrong with our farm system. Is it too soon to bring up that Gretzky kid and have him lay down some bunts?

Ryan Dempster is a bit of an ass. He campaigned for Mike Quade last season and then to turn his back on Quade and throw a fucking tantrum about a month ago when he was pulled after 87 pitches... come on man. The roster had injuries up and down the list and Dumpster had just missed a start with back soreness. Dempster has been a great pitcher for the Cubs when compared to other Cubs pitchers during his tenure. When it's all said and done, Dempster is a above average closer and an above average starter. Then again, we can say the same for Armando Benitez and Carl Pavano. And who really wants those two as their teams closer and number one starter?

As for Mike Quade, he is managing game as if his career depends on it...because it does. Unfortunately, Quade is banking on wins and losses as the deciding factor for future employers, when he should actually be showing that he can develop and win with young talent. Let's face it, Quade wasn't given a team he could win with (which is why I think Ryne Sandberg wasn't given the job), therefore, he hasn't been given a fair chance to be judged by the players and fans. I say bring him back next season and maybe just get rid of Jim Hendry.

It's gonna take some money and a few bold moves to make the Cubs a contender for the 2012 NL Central. They posses the foundation to build a winning team. Also, I believe it's time for a new stadium. As great as Wrigley is, it's such a pain in the ass to get to, maneuver around in and the most obvious reason is because the Cubs can't FUCKING win there!