I Had A Dream Or Two

By:Guido

I have many dreams a night. Some of them very erotic and sexy if you know what I mean. Others are just downright disturbing and gay. Although I've never dreamed about taking it in the pooper, I have unwillingly experimented in a dream. But that's another story...

A few nights ago I dreamed that the Cubs were in the World Series against the Rays. I was at Wrigley and really enjoying the game. Wood was pitching in the bottom of the ninth and had two outs with an 0-2 count on the un-named batter. Everyone was going crazy. Next pitch. 1-2. Check swing, did he go? Replay said yes, umpire said no. 2-2. Foul ball. 2-2. 3-2. Another check, batter held up. Walk.

Man on with two outs. I am now in the left field bleachers. Which ended up being the perfect seat to catch a two-run homer from some guy in a Rays jersey. That's right. I caught the ball. Oh yeah, by the way, the Cubs lost. Obviously.

I don't recall if i had this next dream the same night but it doesn't matter.

In this dream I was working for some sports/news type program as a reporter. My assignment was to find former Phillies ace Cole Hamels and convince him to enter a drug rehab program. It ended up being no trouble at all finding him. Hamels apartment was dark, smelly, and depressing. Not much different than Philly. I watched Cole shoot up an unknown substance and then smile. A few teeth were missing and the others were scummy and black. Cole took a swig of warm beer and said he didn't need rehab. "I'm a world series mvp. You ain't got nuthin' on me", said Hamels. Then Bob Ley or whatever his name is thanked me for the report.

That is all.