Nincompoop

by: Guido

Idiots. Forgotten? Really? He must not live there. Fool. I think it's a little early to say that a Super Bowl victory makes you forget about Hurricane, uh...what one was it again? Andrew? Clyde. Ah screw it.

Super Bowel Movement

By: Guido

I pooped three times during the Super Bowl. That's pretty much all that happened. The Saints won their first SB by a score of 31-17 over the Colts. Not my pick but oh well.

It's funny how much the Saints owner loves New Orleans considering the fact that he had been wanting to move them to LA before Hurricane Katrina. the media would have lynched his ass had he moved them after that. But since they've finally won, might as well move 'em.

Hurricane Katrina was a terrible thing but it in no way has anything to do with football. So, how this Super Bowl victory makes up for Katrina, I have no clue. Basically, it just means that the Saints won all their games that they needed to. It happens to one team every year in each sport (unless there is a strike of some sort). The story lines are endless for each team and you can always point to one event and say it's destiny. It's not. Things just happen.

I missed the Tim Tebow commercial but I did see it later on. No big deal. He was pretty much just blowing smoke up our asses to get publicity for it. It was pretty much pointless...same goes for all the commercials.

The Who minus 2 were OK. I've seen better. It's not really The Who, though. I mean, two of the four guys are dead so is it even the same entity? No. However, Pete Townsend managed to not whip out any kiddie porn on stage so good for him and CBS. By the way, let's move on from the classic rock bands at halftime. As a matter of fact, let's just get rid of the halftime show. It's boring, old and it serves no point what so ever. Sure, Tom Petty is great but I don't want to see him play his three most popular songs and then be done. I want to see a whole set. I say move the music to afterwards and just make a party out of it.

The celebrity predictions need to stop too. Serena Williams and Kenny Chesney aren't gonna persuade me to root in any particular direction.

Also, let's move the Pro Bowl to mid-season. Every other sport plays their All-Star game at mid season so the NFL should too. Hell, they get six days off between games. Plus, it's not like they are actually trying in the Pro Bowl. They just fuck around. And another thing, if you get voted to the Pro Bowl, you have to play. Its so ridiculous how many players opt out of playing because they have better things to do. Last I checked, it was an honor to be voted an All-Star, so fucking go to the game.

Finally, let's move the Super Bowl up a week. Two weeks is too much. It's not even for the teams. It's for the media and shit to get ready for the game. I don't need the two weeks of pre game. I don't give a fuck. Play the game the Sunday following the conference championships. Football is supposed to be a rough sport but those man-children sure do get alot of time off. I know they aren't making quite as much money in the pros as they did in college but come on. Baseball players are at it for 162 games and sometimes get only a couple days off a month. Plus they travel alot and play night games and day games, sometimes back to back! I don't hear them complaining.

I rate this years Super Bowl 4 out of 10 turds. The onside kick was the most exciting part. Other than that, it didn't do anything for me. My final score prediction was way of, as I expected it to be. Colts 3 Saints 2. Do you know how hard it is to predict a final score? Why do it then? Most people take the fun out of it anyway because they get so serious about it. I was also off on my super bowl prediction of Eagles and Steelers. I will have better luck next year. Bears over Colts.

Topps UFC Cards

By: Guido

I bought a box of Topps UFC a month ago and damn near completed the base card set. Kali was there to open half the packs with me. I must say, her knowledge of sports cards has grown rapidly and she loves the thrill of pulling something big (inserts and short prints, as I wouldn't consider myself big). I pulled the GSP auto and a Forrest Griffin mat relic. She pulled a Josh Neer mat relic Gold #068/199 complete with some kind of debris smeared across the mat(dried blood hopefully) and the Dan Miller auto. I also had to break down and purchase a Clay Guida blue ink auto off ebay. Only $20 so that was a pretty good deal I figured. Not to mention that I purchased the Hobby Box for only $92 with shipping.

I also got a few repeats of Fight Poster Review and Bloodlines insert set. The cool thing about the Bloodlines is that the write up on the back of the card is in English and whatever the native language is of that fighter. Pretty sweet.

Our Inspiration

By: Guido

Zach Wolf has been crowned "King of Sports Jerks Readers". Congratulations and nice sweater. Go Cubs!

Before and After

By: Guido

Here is a big of McGwire as a steroid freak



and here is a pic of Big Mac Before the roids took ahold


You be the judge. And if you compare pics of before and afters on Sosa, Bonds and Clemens...I'm saying its so easy to see the difference that even a caveman can do it. Hell, look at pics of players that aren't suspected of using steroids(Mark Grace, Alan Trammell, Harold Reynolds). They look the same as rookies as they do at 35yrs. Maybe they have some facial hair and a bit of a gut but seriously, it's so easy to spot the changes.

Proven Idiots

By: Guido

Why am I not surprised? Mark McGwire was cheered today at Cardinals Winter Warm-up by Cardinals fans while Jack Clark was booed. Are you fucking serious? Clark was booed because of his comments made earlier this week referring to McGwire's admission to using steroids. Here are a few choice quotes from Clark's interview with the St. Louis Post Dispatch.(http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4828816)

"[McGwire is] a sad excuse for a player in the industry of baseball. Just seeing him in uniform makes me throw up."

"If his hand-eye coordination was so good, why did he feel the need to apologize to the Maris family?"

"All those guys are cheaters -- A-Rod [Alex Rodriguez]. Fake, phony. Rafael Palmeiro. Fake, a phony. Roger] Clemens, [Barry] Bonds. [Sammy] Sosa. Fakes. Phonies. They don't deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. They should all be in the Hall of Shame. They can afford to build it. They've all got so much money. And they could all go there and talk about the next way to rub something on your skin. The whole thing is creepy. They're all creeps. All these guys have been liars."

"It's a shame that he thinks we're all stupid, that he only did [steroids] because of injuries. That's such a cop-out, such a lie. These guys did [steroids] to take the money to pump up their egos and then take their consequences down the road."

I'll post some more at the end and also Andy Van Slyke's comments as well.

So does this mean that Cardinals Nation(a.k.a. Greatest Fans in Baseball TM) condone cheating as opposed to being an honest, hard-working player? Yes, I believe so. All signs point to yes. Just because McGwire finally admitted doesn't mean all should be forgiven. The guy is still obviously a dumbass. Here are some comments made by McGwire when he admitted steroid use.

"There's no way a pill or an injection will give you hand-eye coordination or the ability or the great mind that I've had as a baseball player. I was always the last one to leave. I was always hitting by myself. I took care of myself."

"I did this for health purposes. There's no way I did this for any type of strength purposes."

"I truly believe I was given the gifts from the man upstairs of being a home run hitter, ever since ... birth. My first hit as a Little Leaguer was a home run. I mean, they still talk about the home runs I hit in high school, in Legion ball. I led the nation in home runs in college, and then all the way up to my rookie year, 49home runs. But, starting '93 to '94, I thought it might help me, you know, where I'd get my body feeling normal, where I wasn't a walking MASH unit."

This just contradicts everything that the Cardinals and their fans claim they stand for. But of course, I'm sure their excuse for cheering his is to show their support for him finally admitting to it because that's the right thing to do. I agree. He fucking should admit to it, but he shouldn't get a goddamn standing ovation! He fucking cheated and lied about it just like Sosa, Palmeiro, Clemens and Bonds. And I guaran-fucking-tee you wont see any of those players get a damn standing ovation.

This whole thing is just fucked up. Cardinal fans are pretty damn stupid though and this isn't the first time. Every time, EVERY TIME, a Cardinals player dies, not matter the circumstances, he's a hero! La Russa and Freese AND Spiezio all have gotten DUI's as Cards players...no big deal apparently. I had yet to hear a good thing about McGwire from Card fans until he came clean. Now he's role model, a god-send, whatever. And he thinks he is gonna teach them how to hit this season? Do batting practice sessions come with some cream and a shot in the ass?

Here's my predicted stat line for every Cardinals hitter that players in 130-150 games this year under La Russa and McGwire:

.265, 40 hr, 118 SO, 20-45 lb increase in muscle mass, major scrotal shrinkage.

Look, all I'm saying is this; What do you stand for, Cardinals fans? What? What makes you so great? BY cheering McGwire over Clark you have just contradicted everything you claim to stand for! Are too stupid to know better? Do you know what steroids are? (This is when Joe Card Fans reminds me that Sosa used a corked bat and took steroids) Seriously, do you actually know that McGwire CHEATED? Do you understand that? Does that make any sense at all? (This is the part of the conversation where Joe Card Fan reminds me that the Cubs haven't one a title in over 100 years, as if I didn't know that and isn't the point). Do you realize that Tony La Russa has a history of have players under him that have admitted to and been accused of taking steroids(McGwire, Jose Canseco, Cody McKay, Rick Ankiel, Ryan Franklin(with Seattle at the time, now closer for STL), Wilson Delgato)? Is any of this getting through to you? Does my use of putting letters together to form words and words together to for sentences confuse you? (10 World Series title, says Joe Card Fan).

See, it's no use. They are just too stupid. Chris Carpenter could admit to being a child rapist or Dave Duncan could fess up for being the reason for 9-11 and Cardinals fans would still forgive and wear their tacky "We are all child rapists', Chris." or "9-11 isn't just Dave's fault, it's everybodys" t-shirts. See what I mean? They're just dummies.

More from Jack Clark

Steroid abusers and suspected users "are all lucky they didn't end up in jail. It's all comical to a certain point. It's a three-ring circus. It really is. From [commissioner] Bud Selig to Tony [La Russa] to A-Rod to Manny Ramirez to Palmeiro ... What a joke."


"[McGwire's] own manager never knew that [Jose] Canseco and McGwire and anybody else ever had taken steroids? Trust me, from [a former player], I have a lot of insight into who did what and when but I'm not even going to talk about it. It really doesn't matter."


"He should not be in baseball. He should be banned from baseball more than ever."

Said Andy Van Slyke(former Card and Pirate great):

"I never condoned a player who used steroids while they played, but I've never been mad at a player. But I think if you have an opportunity to tell the truth and you continue to be disingenuous and lie, then there's every right for people to be upset by the continued lying or finger-pointing. There's a lot of finger-pointing by Mark McGwire. He blames it on not being tested and he blames it on the era. Why would you blame baseball for taking steroids? That's like me saying the reason I was drunk-driving was because I knew that on this particular highway, they didn't have anything for me to blow into."

2010 Cubs outlook and news

By: Guido

Let's start off with Andre Dawson's HOF election. Some people think he should be wearing a Cubs cap in the Hall. I disagree. Even though he did win the 87 MVP with the Cubbies, his overall numbers were better in Montreal. He won 8 gold gloves(6 with the Expos), 4 Silver Sluggers(3 with the Expos) and was an 8 time all-star(only 3 with Expos). Dawson was also the 77 ROY. The important thing is that Dawson was finally voted in.

Alright, so what have the Cubs done this off season that will make them a better team? Well, Milton Bradley is hanging his hat in Seattle now and Aaron Miles is playing for Oakland. I didn't like the Bradley-Silva trade and I still don't. I think we would have been better off keeping Bradley but what do I know? Given some time, I think Bradley would have settled down and shut his mouth long enough to hit a baseball. As far as the Aaron Miles trade goes, thank-fucking-god! I hate Aaron Miles. Hendry is an absolute moron for ever signing him in the first place. We would have been so much better off with DeRosa(now with the Giants) at second base. Hopefully Fontenot can be Fonteyes and hit the ball all season and not be so streaky.

Marlon Byrd...I don't know what Hendry's fondness is for Rangers outfielders who are coming off of career years...let's just hope this works out a little better than last years wonderful signing of Milton Bradley. Former Rangers and now Cubs hitting coach Rudy Jaramillo has an excellent track record and can hopefully build on his work with Byrd and make better hitters out of the rest of the Cubbies.

Not much as changed with the Cubs roster since last season. I still think that this is going to be an excellent team. As long as they can work together and not just make DLee shoulder the load, they should finish 1st or 2nd in the NL central. The pitching rotation is strong and so is the bullpen. They also added fat toad man Carlos Silva...not sure what they are gonna do with him but he could be useful in an eating contest. I can definitely see Silva and Zambrano becoming good chaps.